This may not seem like something I'd say or something I'd write, at least for the longest time. But, I'm sorry to say that I'm having those terrible thoughts in my head again, I've started to get addicted to cutting myself again. I know I should be asking for help, the only problem is that I don't want help anymore, I want the demons to stay in my head, I want them to tear me down, I need them to tear me down so I can get to the point where living is pointless for me again, but this time, I want to make sure no one will find out when I hit that point again, that way I can end my life right then and there. I tried to get better for the longest time, but the harder I tried, the worse I got. I'm sorry, but I'm done living this life I once loved. No matter what I do, I always end up fucking it up for myself. No matter who I love, they always end up hurting me. I'm not good enough for anyone in this world, so why should I even be alive? I'm sick of crying, I'm not scared of dying, so let me just fade away and you'll forget about me. Don't put the blame on yourself, it wasn't just you, I can promise you that. I've been getting pushed closer and closer to my breaking my point, and let me tell you, I stayed strong for so long, but no one cared to notice that my wrists were clean for about 2 months. I'm done, I never want to see my wrists clean ever again, I want to see blood flow out of each and every cut, more and more blood everytime. I will know when it's time to go, once I stop feeling anything again, I will become numb for the very last time, I'm so sorry to tell you that every second, every minute, every hour, is getting me closer to goodbye, I should probably tell you now, that I loved you and I tried so hard to be the best for you, but once again, that didn't work, it never has, now I'll never try again. I'm sorry if this hurts you, I don't want it to, but I want you to know that this is what's best for me, please, please, please, promise me that once I'm gone, you'll be much happier for me, knowing I'm in a better place. I need you to promise that you'll never do what I'm planning to do soon, I need you to stay here because you have a purpose, and I do not. I'm sorry, but goodbye, I love you.
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The Way I Feel
PoetryThe Way I Feel is a story is made of many different poems I wrote. Poetry helps me express my feelings better than just trying to talk to someone about them. I hope you enjoy them and make you keep wanting to read more!
