Miami

Word Vomit

6:00pm
Me and Coral had ended up spending the whole day together anyhow. So technically I didn't lie to Mason. All we had done all day was sun bathe by the pool, soaking up the sun on day 2. We decided to have dinner with the boys as I told Coral what I said to Mason earlier on and how I reacted towards him. She shook her head saying to me that I should be more affectionate and basically how I used to be before he turned into a doosh. She understands how hard it is, but she believes in me. I just need to believe in myself.

7:02pm
We had both made our way to our hotel rooms to get ready for the meal. We weren't sure where we were going yet. I opened the door to my hotel room, finding Mason on the bed on his phone, looking like he had just got out of the shower. I chuck my key card on my bedside table, as usual and said nothing to Mason. I waited for him to say something first. He said nothing though, his face was glued to his iPhone screen. I decided to take a brave step.

"Mason. Shall I wear this? Or this?" I say holding up two dresses. One being a maxi dress in a solid coral colour. The other being a short navy dress with lacy sleeves.

"The right one." He said not even looking.

"Mason. Look. Which one is nicer?" I say with a demanding tone.

"Urm, dunno. The blue one." He looked up for about 3 seconds, not analysing the dresses at all. He then continued to look deep into his phone.

"Fine." I say chucking the coral maxi dress back into the wardrobe. Why do I even bother.

I get changed into the navy dress in the bathroom. I do my makeup briefly by only applying contour and mascara. I chuck my hair into a high pony tail after brushing it. Then I decide to paint my nails. I decide to lock the bathroom door so when we need to go, he can wait for me. Then he'll understand that I'm in a mood with him. I know it's wrong to do this but I can't seem to like him one bit. I take a coral colour out from my makeup bag and paint each finger with care. I decided this colour because Mason didn't pick the coral dress. I'm just winding myself up by doing all these wrong things, but for some reason it feels good because it's my only release of anger. Basically, to piss him off makes me feel good. I think it's because he's done it to me, so it's pay back. "This is still wrong though Bella." I think to myself.

I look at myself deeply into the bathroom mirror as I wait for my nails to dry. I sigh and then realise my nails are now dry. I unlock the door and face back towards the mirror. "Pull yourself together. Be strong." I say looking sternly and whispering to myself.

I open the bathroom door and say -
"Okay, you ready?"

"Yeah I am. You look gorgeous Bella. Sorry I didn't pay much attention to you when you asked my opinion on the dresses. I was on my emails, work came up." He said standing up as he pulled up his black trousers. I knew he was lying though. I knew it. I paid no attention to it though as I remember what Coral said earlier.

"That's okay. Shall we go then?" I said sighing as I looked at his eyes. I did it, I looked at his eyes for more than 7 seconds! I can do this, I can at least make it through the evening.

As we walk out of the door, Coral and Darren walk past us.

"Oh good timing or what? You alright Bella? Haven't seen you all day!" Said Darren to me, stroking my arm as Mason closes the door.

"Haha yeah too right. I'm all good thank you, you?" I say smiling into his eyes as Mason grabs my hand. I freeze in panic of what to do.

Coral looks at me and mimes "go on." As if to get me to hold his hand aswell. She's right though, so I held his hand in vain.

7:40pm
We decided to stay at the hotel to eat as we weren't all fussed about going out. In other words... Coral forced Darren and Mason to stay and eat here because of me. She didn't want me to leave the hotel until I was comfortable with Mason. I agreed with her on this majorly as I knew something would happen. Obviously the boys didn't know, so they just agreed with an "okay". The only thing about not leaving the hotel, is that I won't be able to go clubbing. Especially with Mason. I feel scard from the clubs - Solid the most.