Lover Of The Last

11. Not Enough

Excuse me for a while
While I'm wide-eyed
And I'm so damn caught in the middle

Arabelle's POV

The kiss tasted like rum and smoke; the bitter taste of alcohol still on Will's mouth as he pushes me up against the wall so his body cages mine against the stone.

His hands come up to hold the sides of my head and I hold onto the collar of his muddy shirt. I was waiting for something to happen, a spark or a sense of belong. It felt so different, but I didn't pull away.

Will mumbled something against my lips as we attempted to catch our breaths. My fingers threaded with the hair at the bottom of his neck as he leaned against me, our lips connecting and disconnecting many times.

Riley's grey eyes popped into my head, but I pushed away the image. Then my skin tingled with the past feeling of Riley's hands instead of Will's; again my mind shoved away the thought.

I opened my eyes just as the door to our bedroom opened, William's hand fumbling with the knob and shoving open the door with his free hand.

I gasped as he scooped me up and walked into the room. It was dim from the now closed curtains and grew even darker as Will closed the wooden door behind us with is foot.

Will gently let me fall to my feet, but his hands were instantly on me once more; before his lips smashed down onto mine again I saw pure happiness etched onto his handsome face.

He smiled into the kiss and I felt relief that he didn't reject my kiss in the first place. I guess something inside me knew he never would.

"Arabelle." He mumbled against my mouth as he pushed us towards the bed in the middle of the room.

He sat on the bed and pulled me to him, eliminating the space between us as I wedged myself inbetween his legs. I didn't know where I was going with all this but it was like I was in a far away place when he kissed me. Like I didn't have to think about anything else. A distraction.

Even though when his fingers trailed down my bare arms and I felt no sparks, or when his dark brown eyes bore into mine I didn't get the same feeling as with Riley; he was still so special to me and I can't lie and stay I've never wanted to be like this with Will.

Our lips pulled apart and I smiled sheepishly. "I bet you weren't expecting that." I mutter.

Will laughed lowly, his breath moving my hair. "I wasn't, but I'm not complaining."

I kissed his nose, his cheek, his temple and then my lips moved back to his. I wasn't very experienced with this, but I knew he was. Girls couldn't not notice Will, and I was just noticing now the jealously I had for every girl who's ever touched him.

He chuckled because of the sudden intensity of my lips. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere." His hands smoothed down my hair and he leaned his forehead against mine.

"You don't realize how long I've wanted that to happen." Will said. I smile at him as were now the same height, him on the bed and me standing inbetween his legs.

"I didn't realize until now if wanted it to." I reply.

"You're so perfect." He mumbles. His eyes bore into mine as he speaks, giving me a compliment like he always does. But this time it feels different, I see the underlying meaning and notice how much he really cares for me.

"I'm far from perfect, Will, but thank you for thinking that." I say into his cheek. If anyone knew the secrets I keep or about Riley they wouldn't think I at all perfect.

"Always brushing off my compliments." Will chuckles. He stands up from the bed but keeps his fingers threaded in my hair. His touch is comforting, I just wish I would stop wanting it to be someone else's hands.

"C'mere." Will pulls me to him and I bury my head in his neck, accepting his embrace.

"I'm sorry about not being here for you enough. You know, will all the deaths and all of your duties to the kingdom; I've been a rubbish friend." My voice is muffled into his muddy skin but I hear him sigh.

"You aren't a rubbish friend, Belle." Will pulls away so our eyes meet. "I know you've been through a lot as well."

I nod, he couldn't ever know all that I was going through. He knew who Riley was but he didn't know what he was or what he's done. I don't think anyone would ever know.

"Shall we go to dinner?" He asks before my thoughts drift to far, his light brown eyes alight with a emotion I couldn't place.

I smile and my arms drop from around his neck. "Yes. I'm starving."

"I'm going to wash up a bit first." Will looks down at his dirty and slightly bloody clothes and winces. "Not a good impression to walk into dinner looking like I rolled around with pigs."

I laugh. "You're right, go on."

I shove him lightly towards to washroom door nearby and watch him smile at me over his shoulder before he closes the door.

Once the door is shut I can't help but overthink what just happened. Did I really mean to kiss him? Yes and no, I think to myself. I've fancied him for as long as I could remember but the timing just never seemed right, or I didn't think going from strong friendship to a romance was healthy.

And it always seemed like there was more than just him for me, more than just William. I always had the feeling my heart would never really be all his. Now I knew that it was because of Riley.

I felt sort of ashamed for kissing the both of them and never telling them my true intentions. But it could wait, because even I didn't know my own intentions; I couldn't have them both but I couldn't see a world that existed without one.

The opening of the washroom door startled me as Will emerged, a smile seeming to be permanently etched into his features.

"Come in here, you've got mud on you as well." He says before reaching out a now clean hand for me to take.

Looking down I frown slightly at the brown mark that trails across my throat and onto my shoulder; the lace on the sleeves darkened with mud. I remember Will leaning on me as he apologized with slurred words into my neck while Riley watched us outside the pub.

"Oh- I hadn't even noticed." I say as he pulls me inside.

I looked over Will with a quick glance, he had changed into fresh clothes and wiped the blood and dirt off his face. I still could identify the deep cut on his brow and the faint bruise on his left cheek; but other than that he looked his usual handsome self.

Our washroom was a fine one, with a beautiful large oval bath behind a changing screen that I used quite frequently and fluffy towels on gold-painted racks.

I lean against the counter as Will reaches behind me to ring out the muddy washcloth he's holding in the sink. He rinses it with clean water and I watch him intently as he concentrates.

Will's face always grows still when he's working or thinking, only his eyes moving. I gasp as the washcloth comes in contact with my bare skin; the cold, wet fabric raising goosebumps.

"Sorry." He mumbles as he drags the cloth across my neck to rid my skin of the mud.

I zone out while watching him and my mind wanders. What's Riley doing right now? Where did he go after he knocked out that man at the pub?

As Will works the dried up dirt off my skin and clothes I wonder who he think Riley is, just another knight in training? It's hard to tell what Iris replaced his memories of him with. I was about to ask Will about Riley-

Warm lips had begun trailing up the hollow of my throat as I leaned against the sink, my body grew still and I felt as stiff as a board while Will leaned against me.

The washcloth was forgotten as Will gently grab ahold of my waist. My mind told me to enjoy this, forget about everything and become lost in him like I knew he was becoming lost in me. But my heart-

I small gasp left my lips when Will placed an open-mouth kiss on the skin where my neck met my shoulder. His tongue darted out and I closed my eyes and relaxed, lifting my arms up to go around his neck.

His mouth worked at the sensitive skin of my neck and I sighed; my mind drifting back to the moments in the West Tower last night with someone else's lips on my skin and someone else's arms raped around my waist.

Snapping my eyes open, I quickly threaded my fingers into Will's hair and pulled his head out of the crook of my neck. His expression was devious and he had a crooked smirk on his flushed face.

"Weren't we going to dinner?" I question, trying to create a distraction.

"Hm, were we?" Will mockingly asks with a look of fake confusion. "I like this a lot better." He leans in to kiss my jaw and I stop him.

"Well, I'm hungry." I state shakily, my fingers still threaded into his hair.

His eyes narrow in a unreadable expression but then his usual air of confidence returns. "Alright." I can't help but sense a tone of disappointment in his voice. "We can go."

Will backs up from me and I straighten up, brushing my hands over my dress even though no dust has settled on it. As I turn to look in the mirror I breath a sigh of relief at the fact that the mud that was on my white dress is now gone.

The relief quickly vanishes after I notice the dark purple mark on my skin; right on the left side of my neck. I gasp and lean into the mirror and wince after I poke the mark to confirm what I think it is.

Will whistles lowly from behind me. "Sorry about that." He comes and pulls my hair up from behind my shoulders so it covers the love-bite. "There. No one will notice, hopefully."

I scoff comically. "Oh, God, I hope not."

"Just keep you hair right there and then only you and I will know it's there." He smirks handsomely at me in the mirror.

I roll my eyes dramatically and sigh. "I kiss you once and end up getting a love-bite minutes later. We're moving too fast, William." I joke.

He laughs, a nice laugh that I've always loved. "Okay, I'll promise not to get too ahead of myself. It's not everyday your best friend whom you've wanted to kiss for years makes the first move."

Will face is smiling down at me as he opens the washroom door, and I return his smile; not quite knowing how to respond to his words. He's wanted to kiss me for years? I feel so foolish for always brushing him off, but I've had my reasons.

We exit our room and I take hold of his arm while we walk down the hallway, a comfortable silence settling upon us.

I keep fidgeting with my hair to make sure it's covering my neck in the right way; I usually have it all thrown behind my shoulders, I just hope no one notices.

We reach the end of the hallway and turn to go down the flight of stairs. I glance out the windows as we walked the stone corridors of the Palace, a dark blue sky with grey clouds in the distance.

More people begin to join us as we walk towards the dining hall and I lean more onto Will; taking comfort in our silence and glad that nothing has become different between us; despite what just happened back in the room.

I glance up at him and notice he is still smiling slightly. I shake my head at him jokingly but it only causes him to smile more.

Once we turn into the dining hall I back way from Will in the slightest. My mind can't help but know that a certain someone will be here, and I don't want him to see me and Will so intimate.

As if reading my thoughts, my eyes look to the far tables were the guards who are staying at the Palace are seated. And he was there, charcoal eyes already on me as he sat inbetween two guards who seem to have continued conversation despite Riley's obvious distraction.

Will who had no reason not to hide our sudden intimacy leaned over to kiss me on the cheek with heated lips, his hand still wrapped around my waist pulled, us towards the table.

My heart was beating fast as I waited for Riley to do something or shout at us, but he simply looked away quickly and crushed his fork with white fists; his whole body becoming tense.

"Belle." Will's voice brought me back from staring at Riley in anticipation, he clearly was going to ignore me.

I followed Will to sit near some of his friends, including Derek, who were sat next to Riley and his newly-made acquaintances. Despite trying to move away from him to sit on the other side of Will, I end up right next to Riley.

I watched him from the corner of my eye; but he seemed all of a sudden interested in his food in front of him and refused to meet my gaze.

Will's arm pressed up against mine as he sat close to me. "I'm starved, what have you lot been up too since the pub?"

He started conversation with his mates and I shoved the food around on my plate; my appetite now gone as I felt so small between the two men. No one brought out Will's fight to my surprise, but I knew they all noticed the bruise on his cheek and cut on his brow.

Derek smirked at Will. "Just sitting around in here after washing up, how about you two?" His grin was sly, as if he knew something we didn't, while his eyes moved from me to Will accusingly.

My heart stopped short as I thought about him seeing Will and I in the hallway, and then go into our room. Will looked to be flushed yet glowing with pride; I on the other hand probably looked like I've seen a ghost.

As much as I sort of enjoyed being with Will like that, I didn't want anyone to know. At all. At least not right away, I wanted time to think about it before people assumed. But if Derek already knew, it was too late.

"Just washing up, Will got quite dirty." I quickly respond since Will wasn't speaking.

I shoved a bite of chicken in my mouth so I wouldn't be asked to elaborate. I could practically feel Riley become tense next to me, even if we weren't touching.

"Quite dirty indeed." Stephen trailed off. His gold eyes shimmering with amusement as I choked on my food at his extremely forward words. They really needed to stop. I flip my hair behind my shoulders ready to snap at them to shut up.

Will laughed and I resisted shooting him a glare. "C'mon you guys-"

His words were cut off by the sound of shattering. I flinch and look to my right to see Riley's glass in pieces, the water now drenching the tablecloth and the shards slicing his fine fingers.

Everyone at our end of the table grows silent as Riley takes his hand away quickly; but I notice the cuts on his hand begin to close almost magically.

Derek whistles lowly. "You alright there, mate?" He mutters his eyes staring at the broken glass with raised eyebrows.

Riley nods as he holds his hand in his lap. He looks up at the others with dark eyes but refuses to meet my worried gaze; it's infuriating that he won't look at me at all.

"I'm fine. Just need to go clean up my hand." He says in a voice that raises goosebumps on my skin. He spoke to them with a balanced tone, as if nothing was wrong. But I knew better.

Riley stood quickly, his shoulder igniting sparks on my own as it brushed up against me in the slightest. I didn't look at the other men at the table, even though I felt Will gaze, my eyes stayed on the broken glass; Riley's blood now diluted in the water.

"Arabelle." Will whispered into my ear. "Your hair, cover your neck."

I gasp as I look down, I had thrown my hair over my shoulders out of habit and the love-bite on my neck was in plain view.

The others were still silent, Derek smiling down at his food while Stephen hid his smile with a  hand over his mouth. My eyes stung with embarrassment as Will looked at me with a look of apology. The other guards weren't paying attention to us, but I didn't care; enough people had seen it, including Riley.

After shoving my hair back into place hastily to hide the purple mark, I shook my head and stood up; not wanting to sit or eat anymore. I felt truly embarrassed and ashamed; and regretful. Yes, regretful, I was now ruing even letting Will kiss me like that.

"Are you leaving?" Will grabbed my wrist gently, his expression making my heart sink; he felt truly sorry but I didn't care for an apology right now.

I needed to find a certain someone and explain myself, not sit here and be judged. "Yes, I'm no longer hungry."

The other guards were now watching, but I just pulled my hand out of Will's grip and turned my back; walking quickly to the exit of the dining hall.

Knights holding their swords in their hilts stood at the doors of the hall and I turned to the nearest one. "Do you happen to know where Riley is staying?" I asked sweetly.

I wanted to know what room in the chambers he was in, and I knew he'd be staying in one. Riley had been sitting at the guards table so I assumed Iris had put the idea of him being in training like Will and Derek when she tampered with their memories. My chest ached as I thought of my best friend but I quickly brushed it off.

"He is staying on the east third level guard chambers, but I noticed him heading the opposite way. West, towards the towers, not sure why..." The knight trailed off, his eyes narrowing in thought.

"Of course." I mutter under my breath. "Well, thank you" I smiled at them kindly and noticed one of them flush slightly. Men, I thought to myself.

Grabbing a fistful of my dress I walked quickly down the corridor until I was out of slight. Once I was, I sped up to a run.

The castle grew colder and less of the torches became lit as I raced farther into it; my breathless form reaching the part no one used these days.

After going up a flight of stairs, I turned and was met with a familiar hallway with a familiar wooden door slightly ajar.

Sighing with relief, I mentally patted myself on the back for knowing exactly where he would go. After I closed the door behind me, my feet began to bound up the black stone steps.

Here I was, running away from reality to be with Riley. Just like I did when he was but only a wolf in my mind. But this time, I had more reasons then just needing a distraction; I had things to speak to him about and discuss.

Reaching the top step, I took in the glass-less windows that showed nothing but the West Sea and its black waters crashing together. The old mattress was still on the ground in the round room, but Riley was not sitting on it; in fact he wasn't in the room at all.

My heart dropped to the dusty, stone ground as I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. You can go back to your lover now that you've checked up on me, I'm sure he's in distress because of your absence." A cold, familiar voice echoed through the room.

I gasp loudly as I glanced up, to where the voice came from. My eyes scan the rafters of the tower franticly; the beams of wood holding up the roof of the West tower hardly visible because of the lack of light.

After searching with narrowed eyes, I catch an arm dangling from one of the beams about twenty feet from me. I squinted my eyes more and made out a body laying across the wood; one arm thrown dangling from the rafter and the other lain across it's face. Riley.

"I didn't come to check up on you. I know you aren't okay already, I came here to talk." I yell up into the pointed roof of the tower. No response comes back and I heave out another sigh.

"Maybe I don't want to talk. My current position should say that much." I hear Riley respond finally.

His voice is distant but firm. My mind wants to be annoyed with him, but I honestly can't no matter how hard I try.

"Why'd you shatter you're glass at dinner?" I ask. I don't care what he says about not talking to me, I won't be leaving because I need answers. But so does he, I remind myself.

"What about 'I don't want to talk' do you not grasp?" He sighs loudly. Despite his harsh words, I become distracted when I see his body shift positions. Panic rushes through me, what if he falls?

I must've made a worried noise because he speaks up once more. "Don't worry, Belle." He uses Will's nickname mockingly. "If I fall, which I won't, you can be sure I will not be injured. Perks of being a werewolf." I can hear the bitterness in his voice from all the way down here.

I narrow my eyes. "Well, like it or not, we need to talk."

"No we don't." He says as if its a fact. A small jolt of panic goes off in me again as I watch him sit up on the beam, his body a mere shadow occasionally catching the dim setting sun.

My neck hurts from looking up for so long and I sigh in defeat. "You can say that, but I'm going to sit right here until you come down. You'll have to eventually, and when you do, we're talking."

My voice is steadier than I thought it would be and I mentally praise myself for not just accepting his rudeness and running off. He would come down at some time, and when he did I'd be sitting right here.

"Arabelle..." Riley groans as I hear a thump come from above me, his body most likely falling back to lay down on the wooden rafter.

I cross my arms and lower myself to sit in the middle of the circular room; directly under where he is suspended in the beams above. If he was being stubborn, so was I.

"People will wonder where you are, and this time I'm not creating a diversion because of your foolish actions." Riley finally says.

I think of what he made Iris do to my friends, to Will, and a prick of anger rises in me; but it was sort lived seeing as he just implied he wouldn't do it again. But he was saying he blamed me for what happened.

"If I recall correctly, you were the one who was acting foolishly. Dragging me away from the party to come up here." I lower my voice. "Killing that guard."

I heard a deep sigh, almost a growl come from above. "I think you can make the connection as to what that guard was going to do to you, Arabelle."

"Where is he now?" I ask the question that bugged me, of course someone would notice a mauled body laying in the Palace garden.

"The body was taken care of, no need for details." Riley mutters, his voice is far and I wish he'd come down. Or maybe I could go up to him.

I glance up once more but notice the first beam is no where near in reach, the rafters don't start until about ten feet from the stone floor. My mind tries to wrap my thoughts around the idea of someone actually climbing them, no one could do it without inhuman capabilities.

"Can you please come down." I sigh while staring longing up at Riley's dangling shadow.

Silence floods the tower and I stay planted on the ground in anticipation, my fingers fiddling with my hair to make sure its covering the right side of my neck.

"Arabelle you really shouldn't be here. Go back to your friends." Riley says into the tense room. His tone is clipped and it makes me frown. I never wanted to upset him.

"I want to be with you. Not them." I whisper as I stare out the window. The sun has now disappeared beyond the horizon and I know Will is going to come looking for me, its nighttime and no one should be alone.

I hear a creak from above and my head shoots up to search the beams. Riley is now standing, balanced on the wooden rafter and glancing down at me.

A small gasp leaves my lips as I taken in his perfect form; the blue-white moonlight seeping in among the rafters, a shaft of light laying right across him and his face, showing off his godly features. Every shadow and muscle is illuminated and I feel like I'm looking at an angel rising from the dark.

Riley lowers himself and jumps, grabbing onto the sturdy wood while swinging his body down from beam to beam; he his a blur at he gets closer to the last of the rafters.

A loud thud sounds as he leaps off and lands in front of me, a small puff of dust coming from his boots as they hit the floor. I'm still kneeing, but my eyes travel up his body, unashamed, as I take in his perfect form.

My eyes land on his face, a guarded look of confusion on in his dark eyes. I remember being scared of his changing eyes once, but now I feel as though I'd be lost without their gaze.

"Stand up." Riley says, not commanding but with a guarded tone; like one would speak to a startled horse.

I stand but never tear my gaze from him, and once I'm standing we are almost touching, but not quite. Being this close to him but not feeling him is like holding a sword in front of a solider and telling them not to use it.

"Answer my question, and depending on your answer I will either leave you alone or stay." His words crush me from the inside out. How can he decide that by my answer to one question.

"No- no you can't put that on me-" I start.

"Arabelle, listen to me." Riley's voice causes me to calm down slightly. His smooth hands come to rest on my shoulders. "Do you want to be with me? Maybe not now, but do you ever see yourself being with me- sometime in the future?"

His tone makes me worried, he sounds so desperate; he is always so sure and strong, but this side of Riley makes me want to do anything for him. I would do almost anything for him, and I guess I hadn't noticed that until now.

"I-I, Is that even possible?" I question.

When I came up here, I expected to talk about why he had saved Will at the pub, how he knew Iris enough to have her do his dirty work, or what he planned to do by staying here in the Palace. I didn't think he would be asking me out us.

He looked taken aback at my words. His mouth opened but then closed again and his eyebrows creased in thought. "Of course, it's possible. Why wouldn't it be?"

His walls are going back up and I desperately want him to keep them down around me, he's so much easier to speak to when he isn't cold and vague.

"Because of what you are. Because you said you had reason's to be here besides just me." I mutter.

I feel him tense up, his fingers slightly digging into my shoulders as he takes a breath. "You prefer someone more, human." He says. I let out a sigh of defeat, his tough walls were back up.

"If you mean Will, then I don't know." I whisper and he lets go of me.

"It's clear what your answer is. Don't worry, you wont have to see me again." Riley backs away and glances back up to the rafters like he is going to jump back up and get lost in them again. "I won't cause you anymore pain."

"No!" I shout. He can't leave, he can't. "Riley, don't you dare leave me." My eyes prickle but I hold my head high and shoot him a pleading glare.

Riley looks at me, and his eyes scan my face like he's trying see more than what's there; he out of everyone in my life right now knows me best. I swallow and open my mouth to say more-

"You can't keep going back to him." He says with narrowed eyes. "You don't understand how painful it is to watch you two."

I suck in a breath when he moves at an incredible speed to stand right in front of me again. My hands twitch by my sides, wanting to reach out and touch him.

"This." His tone is full of hatred as he lifts his hand and moves my black hair over my shoulder. My heart sinks as I watch his expression become defeated; I know what he's looking at. "Should've been from me."

My skin prickles with sparks as his fingers graze the purple mark on my neck lightly. "I wish it had been." The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

Riley's gaze snaps up to me and I see the swirling grey behind his irises; he is beautiful and I hate to watch his features full of sadness.

"Please don't go anywhere." I whisper. His hand rests on my neck still but I don't want to pull it away. "You were right."

"How was I right?" Riley responds, his features are still guarded but after only a couple of days I have figure out just how to break down his walls.

"You said to me, 'being with anyone else seems inferior to what you feel being with me...'" I trail off as I let his words coming from my lips sink in.

Realization crosses his handsome face and I resist the urge to pull him close and kiss him like we've done so many times in this dusty tower.

"I had to try, I had to see if I could be with someone else-"

My words are cut off by a pair of lips crashing on to my own. My body responds right away and pulls him close by his hair, not caring about the rude interruption.

"I'm not going anywhere." He mumbles inbetween kisses after I whimper words of not wanting him to leave against his lips.

Relief floods my veins and I become lost in him like I never could with anyone else. His body pressed up againist mine brought me hope that was once forgetten.

He was my sanity. And I couldn't let him go.



A/N

thanks for reading! this is just the beginning though so keep reading, voting and commenting! why else do you think riley is here besides arabelle? * cough* vampires *cough*

love all my readers! you guys are amazing!

Multimedia - 'Strong' by London Grammar + Max Irons as Riley (swoon)

--Carolyn