Nebula Oneshots

O2. -- All Too Well

In which Kaya reminisces of Alex.

pairing: Kaya Blackwood and Alex Deven
warning/s: very, very, VERY sad and heartbreaking
word count: 4013

—•—

I walk through the door with you,
The air was cold,
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.

Kaya sat at the edge of her bed, strands of her hair slipping out of her ear and falling down her face as she held the photograph in her hands. It was one of her and Alex, in which she had her fingers on either side of his mouth, pushing them upwards into an unattractive smile. His eyes were nothing but annoyed, glaring down at her 5'7 figure. She was quite tall, but Alex towered over her with his 6 foot 3 height that often bothered Kaya, but now she'd give anything just to hear him comment smugly about her height, or the unusual times where she'd wrap her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest as he let her, kissing the top of her head. It was a rare occurrence, but given what she's gone through, she hoped the gods would be kind enough to consider even just placing that memory in a dream.

But, when she lay back on her pillow, her eyes closed in an attempt to fall back into unconsciousness, all she was able to see was the lifeless body that used to be the person she yelled at in board games; the person who's lips she missed; the person who once told her that he'll always be there to protect her.

"Goddammit," Kaya whispered through gritted teeth. "Goddammit, Alex, you said you'd protect me, but now that damn arrow haunts me wherever I go and I don't have you to tell me to shape up, or distract me from my thoughts."

She shot up from her bed, eyes stinging from the river of tears threatening to escape. Her hands shook, gripping onto the now crumpled photograph that was her last few memories of him. Kaya couldn't close her eyes again. All she ever sees is him, now. One second, her mind drifts to a memory of him smiling--something she rarely got to see--the next, his eyes close and his body cripples to the ground, the end of the arrow sticking out of his chest. The chest that she laid her head on, where she found herself waking up from, and goddammit, the next time she sees that, she'll never sleep again.

Kaya found herself getting out of her bed, her feet slightly shaking as she made her way to her bedroom door. She took a deep breath, her hand twisting the knob and pushing the door open, her eyes staring at the room directly in front of her. She walked, slowly, to the room opposite her own, wishing that somehow, this would make the dreams and the visions stop. She opened the door, spotting the ever so familiar bed that she'd lay down on, him walking in on her sleeping soundly on his own cot. She shivered, noting the open window that he must've forgotten to close. Nobody's been here since he was gone, so there wasn't anyone who could've closed it for him. Even as the wind dropped the temperature to a mildly freezing rate, a ghost of a smile made its way to her lips, the familiarity and the memories made in Alex's room lifting her spirits ever so slightly.

And I left my scarf there, at your sister's house,
And you've still got it
In your drawer,
Even now.

The first thing she did was swipe away the thin layer of dust collecting on the blanket, knowing Alex would've complained about the germs gathering on where he slept. Kaya let out a small, choked laugh at that. He was such a clean freak.

His bedside drawer and lamp seemed to be collecting their own group of bacteria, making Kaya sneeze. Now she knew why it bothered him so much.

She decided to open his drawer, wondering what could possibly be in it. Her eyes fell upon her old, black and purple scarf that he somehow managed to get.