Foster Love (An Ethan and Grayson Dolan Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

I heard talking from outside in the driveway. It was Ethan and Grayson.

"Shit!" I yelled. Jumping to get my clothes. "You have to go. Like now."

"It's fine, I'll just wait in Ethan's room and act like I was waiting for him." he seemed so calm. He's probably used to situations like these after all the girls he's hooked up with.

I was one of those girls now though. Guilt flooded throughout me. What if he tells Ethan? What if he didn't think I was good? What if I get attached to him and I just end up getting hurt? What if everyone thinks I'm a whore? Am I a whore? Why do I always have to fuck everything up?

These questions rushed through me, one after another, so fast I couldn't even process one at a time. Why am I so stupid? How could I throw myself so easily at a guy like that. When he left the room, I started to cry. Why is my life so fucked up? Here I am, sitting in a room that belongs to my phony new family because my real one is nothing but blankness and anguish in my heart. Being raised by not one, but many people who have to claim to be my mother for a short period of time before I get thrown in the next house. But there nothing that compares to your Mom. You'll never have a connection to anyone else like you do to your mother. The one that gave me life. The bigger version of me, the one who loves me more than anything else and couldn't be prouder of what I've done. And my father. A girls bestfriend, the one who taught me some as simple as how to kick a soccer ball or change a light bulb. The one who taught me that I can do anything if I put mu mind to it. It was the simple things my parents did for me that influenced me the most. He was always by my side, when no one else was. Always there to protect you. Always there to love you. Loosing my Dad was like losing my own life. Like a chunk of me was ripped out and torn to pieces. You never realize how much you love your parents until they're gone. When they're not there to tell you, "I love you honey!" or "Have a great day at school!" you realize that you didn't appreciate those words enough. A few simple words. A few simple words I'll never hear again. A few simple words that would repeat in my mind forever because I know I'll never hear them again. A few words that once were simple conversation, now would be music to my ears. A few words that will stick with you forever. If I could have anything in this life, I would ask for my life back. My family. The one thing in life that brought me the most joy at the simplest level of pleasure. But all that joy had been torn from me and replaced with mourn. Joy is foreign to me now. Joy is something I will never get back.

Grayson walked in. I quickly turned away and wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping he didn't see me crying. My Dad always told me crying was a way to relieve all the pains you've been holding inside for the better, but once caught by another individual it became a sign of weakness.

"Ally?" He sat next to me on the bed. "What's wrong"

I looked down and sniffled. "I'm sorry. Its nothing."

"It has to be something." he looked concerned. Like he actually cared. "You can talk to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, making me feel more sheltered. It calmed me down.

"It's nothing i'm fine. Don't worry about it." I lied. It's all I could do. Even if I told him, it would be far too complicated for him to ever comprehend.