It all started when I asked you out
It went fine until you forced me to kiss you
Forcing my head upwards despite my resistance
Then taking from me what should have been mine to agree to
I put on a false smile from then
I started cutting for real
I told people and even poems that I've never drawn blood
But oh my acting for you was killing me
It got to the point where I told someone that you no longer could make me smile
And they said to end the relationship
So I did
My life starting picking up again when I met someone new
Someone who seemed safe
I felt safe again
Though that road may have been bumpy
We ended up together
I stopped drawing blood
But you seem to haunt me like a ghost
Determined to guilt trip me back into dating you
Even more than four months after I ended everything
You still are here
Part of me pities you
How you claim to love me
And refuse to let go
I feel guilty
I hate that you are hurt
Yet at the same time I almost hate you
How you make me fear you will come after the one who I give my affection with your knives
I even have the nightmares of you raping me
Still months after I ended everything, I'm scared
I just want you to move on
So I can spend more than just one day without the fear that you will harm the parts of my life that are holding me together
I'm tired of the guilt trips
I'm tired of the nightmares
I'm tired of the memory of my neck muscles failing to keep my mouth from yours
I'm tired of being afraid to be close to a person, just because they might force me to do something like you did
I'm tired of having such stupid stress
I'm tired of guilt trips
YOU ARE READING
Sorting Poems Of A Pessimistic Optimist
PoetryThese are basically poems that I use to sort out my emotions and such. The poems might be really cheesy and stuff just because the type of emotions I need to sort out most of the time. I will still update the other poem collection but I will post lo...
