One In A Million

Complications

Kirstie POV
"I don't know."
That's what I told Avi when he first asked me why I cut my wrist. But,that's not the truth. I do know why I did it,and it's a lot more than hating myself. I didn't tell him what it really was at first because he was already in enough pain,and I didn't want to make it worse. I love him so much. He might be the man I'm going to marry. I wanna be completely honesty and loyal.

It's been very quiet around the house. He hasn't been saying anything much. It's not cause he hates me or is mad at me its just,he's taking time to process what's going on,that's why I'm scared to tell him what was going on. It's a lot to process. But,it's getting better. We'll be watching tv together and he'll hold my hand or we'll cuddle,or may even he'll just hold me there.tight.so I won't leave his side.
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Avi POV
It's been sort of distant lately. I know that we're supposed to be celebrating that we're together,its just,wow,I feel awful. I'm trying to make the best of the situation though. I gotta just get my baby girl through this and we'll be ok again. I know though that no matter how hard either of us try we'll never forget this, it's a part of us now,and it always will be. Because Kirstie is a part of my life,and this is a part of Kirstie.

"Avi,I really need to talk to you." I hear a soft gentle voice say from across the room. It's Kirstie's beautiful voice. I haven't heard that in a while.
"Okay,well let's talk." I say coming over to sit by her on the couch.
"okay. I told you that I didn't know why I did it,but that's not entirely true. I know why,it's just I didn't want to tell you at the time cause you were still trying to process the first thing."
"okay..." I say in response. I mean what else am I supposed to say?
"so I want to tell you what was going on."
"okay. shoot."
"I went to a doctors appointment Tuesday,and it wasn't just any kind of doctors appointment it was my OBGYN."
"why would you be going to see your OBGYN?"
"I'm not pregnant if that's what your thinking."
I make a facial expression for her to proceed.
"anyway I went and it was just a normal checkup and what they do in this checkup is make sure everything is okay,and I took a test and uh...."
"Kirstie,sweetie what is it?" I say. She looks so sad.
"I can't have children."
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Kirstie POV
"I can't have children." I've never said it aloud and I don't like the taste of the words on my tongue. I can't have children. I want children. With Avi. My Avi. But I can't. Not physically anyway.
"Sweetie,I didn't like the fact that I was the problem. I know it was the wrong way of handling it,and I should've told you,but.....there's no excuse. I understand if you have just had enough."

He takes me by the face and caresses it.
"Look at me. Do you think that id be here if id had enough of you? I've waited 3 years to be with you. And I'm going to be with you for many more years to come. I haven't had enough,in fact I want more. Baby,this is only the beginning of something beautiful,and I can't wait until we're old sitting in our chairs telling our great,great,great,great grandchildren about how we met." He kissed my head.
"I'm so in love with you Avriel Bejamin Kaplan."
"And I'm so in love with you Kirstin Taylor Maldonado."