BTS IMAGINES

RAP MONSTER (Sad)

YOUR POV:
Namjoon was a new student when we started high school. He enrolled in 10th grade, in the middle of the year. He was an extremely intelligent student. I felt like I had competition, as I was one of the best students in my class. A teacher's pet, people would call me and I was liked by all of them.

We were in class, when our teacher entered, along with Namjoon and introduced him to us. I felt insecure, scared and impressed, all at the same time by his attitude and personality.

I remember, it was just his first day and he couldn't questioning the teachers. I was so shocked by his actions. He didn't pay much attention to anyone. He had a muscular build. All the other girls in my class were so impressed by him and were drooling over him, fangirling about how handsome and intelligent he is.

Days passed and I remained indulged in my studies and my own circle of friends, my own little world actually. Nothing much mattered to me, than making my parents proud. Namjoon started making fun of me. Laughing at me whenever I used to pass by.

"Hey you, your shoulders are so broad, you must be a body builder, or a boxing coach." He shouted, in front of the whole class, making everyone laugh at me. I felt humiliated. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to dig a whole in the ground and bury myself in there for the rest of my life. What did I ever do to him?

In class, I just kept my head on the table, sometimes even going underneath it, trying to hide from him. But he continued: "You study so much, your brain will explode someday."

I tried to ignore him, but it hurt a lot on the inside. I couldn't take it anymore and one day I ran outside the classroom, while everyone was laughing at my miserable condition. I ran to the girls toilet and started crying hard. What have I ever done to receive such humiliation? I sat down,on the hard bathroom floor, with my knees up to my chin and put my head down, hiding myself from it all. No one came for my help, even my friends were busy laughing at me. Only 2 of them came rushing in, after a while, trying to console me, patting my back, hugging me and making me feel a little better. After I stopped weeping, they helped me get up, waited for me to wash my face, because my nose and eyes were red and watery from all the crying and there were tear stains on my cheeks. We then went back to class.

NARRATOR'S POV:
Namjoon didn't care about your feelings at all, but, as soon as the midterm exams came near, he started being all friendly to you. One day he said: "Hey y/n, will you copy down these notes for me?" You agreed, because you couldn't say no to anyone. Besides, you liked helping other people.

He even started asking you to teach him the stuff he had missed out, since he came in the middle of the school year. You agreed to that as well. He made you feel like he liked you and you started liking him back, developing feelings for him, while he just used you.

Your friends didn't like you going out with Namjoon, being with him and helping him out because they didn't want your heart to break.

You fell for him, bad. His looks , his charming smile, his cute dimples. He somehow managed to win your heart over. However, he only required you whenever he needed help studying. He didn't have any feelings for you and he didn't care about yours.

Soon midterm exams were over and when the results were announced, Namjoon managed to clear all his subjects, because of your help, and that is what he actually wanted.

He didn't even care to say thank you and give u the credit to his success. He turned back to his old mean self and all his friendliness, that he once showed towards you, was all gone. He started saying hurtful stuff and making you embarrassed, in front of the whole class again, trying to keep up his cool image. He didn't care about you at all and had no idea how you felt about him.

He even asked a good friend of yours to be his girlfriend, even though he knew you two were friends. They were both happy with each other, as a couple. You didn't want to break your friend's heart and come in the middle of their happiness, so you backed up and hid all your feelings for Namjoon.

Annual exams came by. He failed some subjects, because of  being too busy going out with his girlfriend and other friends. Even though he was intelligent, he didn't concentrate enough, on his studies. Whereas, you hid your feelings, stayed away from Namjoon and paid all your attention to your studies. You succeeded and passed, with the highest grades in class.

Namjoon was conditionally promoted to the next class; he still had to clear the subjects he failed in, in order to stay promoted. As usual, you are the one he used for help, asking you to complete his notes and journals. Yet again, you did it all for him, but he kept breaking your heart, without acknowledging the hard work you were doing for him and the feelings you had for him.

Love hurts. But you still kept your feelings to yourself, hidden from everyone, while he stayed in a relationship with your friend. You loved him and cared about him. You cried every night, overthinking about stuff which he had done to you, in return of what you had done for him. It broke your heart into pieces, thinking that he only used you when he wanted and stayed in a relationship with one of your best friends. She gushed to you about him all day. You still faked a smile, even though all her words were injuring your soul deeply.

You still thought: "I will always love him and I want to see him happy. I will sacrifice my own happiness for him." And that's what you always kept doing.