WARNING: Mentions of Self Harm
Kier's POV
Sitting down at the edge of the bed I was currently occupying I traced over my freshly carved cuts, tracing over every letter and reminisced the events that played out earlier. 'Stupid' it glared back at me, the pain erupting from my damaged thigh reminding me of why it was there. I was currently alone in Will's house, giving me the opportunity to stare at the body I destroyed myself. I was only dressed in my boxer shorts, a full sized mirror in front of me giving me the opportunity to stare at the reflection before me. I didn't recognize him, the man was broken. Red puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, a quivering lip and a scar littered body. This wasn't me.
Flashback
We were currently in America, in the scorching summer heat. Some of us took the heat fine and were enjoying the extended summer while they could, whereas some didn't. Not to mention any names; Laurence and Shane, found the heat to be negative element. Laurence's ghostly pale skin burnt easily; even when he plastered factor 50+ sunscreen across his form, and Shane hated not being able to wear his precious navy blue hoodie outdoors without sweating an ocean.
Anyway, that shirt sticking Friday Drew came up with a mixed opinioned idea of going to the beach for the afternoon and "cooling down in the sea!"
"That sounds good." Luke said approvingly.
"Yeah, it does. Plus it will give us a break from the album." Laurence unfortunately agreed.
"I don't know, that requires moving away from this fan." I heard Shane say from behind me where he was lounging across Will's couch. In front of him was a miniscule rotating electric fan, not blowing cool air any further than a few feet away from itself.
"Awh, come on Shane!" Drew whined. "It'll be fun!"
"Yeah, come on buzz killer!" Luke teased.
The pair began their taunting with an occasional input from Laurence warning them to leave Shane alone, whereas Shane only groaned in reply and attempted to turn the fan up higher with a wireless remote in his hand. It didn't appear to be effective due to him eventually giving in to them both, claiming it was "Just to shut you lot up!" but I was certain it was because he was too warm to be in the house any longer and was craving the cooling waters of the ocean.
It wasn't long until everyone was in the car and we were on our way to the beach. Metallica was playing loudly throughout the vehicle and possibly out the open windows; courtesy of Luke. Laurence was our designated driver while Luke called shotgun a few seconds before I did so I had the unfortunate job of timid watching. I was sat in the center backseat, a timid either side; Shane on the left, Drew on my right. They found pleasure in sticking their head out the window like crazed canines, as they allowed their tongues to hang from their widely open mouths. I often had to pull them back in by their shirt collars; much to their dismay.
We finally reached the long awaited beach relatively unharmed, unless you count the small collection of traffic cones Laurence drove over and Drew's stretched out of shape shirt collar.
The gang left the car gracefully, even excitable Drew who once out of the said vehicle immediately stripped down to his swimming shorts and sprinted off towards the calm ocean, dragging a fully clothed Shane behind him with a firm grip around his wrist. Luke and Laurence stayed in their shirt and shorts, deciding that the cool water would be enough to cool them down without needing to take off layers of clothing, and then made their way towards the ocean, much slower than the timids. I however, stayed behind. I stayed next to the car, looking out at the fun my best friends were having and sighed. I wished I was like them, living freely, content with who they were inside and out. They were fine being at the beach, in public I must add, dressed only in shorts showing off bare skin to anyone to see. I couldn't do that, not anymore. People would ask questions, or stare then murmur to their other halves and families about the man with the dictionary calved into his own flesh. Strangers and my best friends alike would join together for an interrogation that I'm not ready to endure. I could no longer do the things I used to, back when I lived fear free. Dressing in shorts or sleeveless shirts were a past memory, on where I'd stand on this very beach and splash or swim in these exact waters, showing the world the body I was accepted and proud of. Now I stand at the far end of the beach leaning on a metal barred fence, not even touching the sand, dressed in a long sleeved dark red shirt and black skinny jeans, soaking up the heat while pressuring myself not to cry.
