The Burn of Beginning | E.N.D.

01: The Beginning of Change

If you love me let me go.

If you love me let me go.

Cause these words are knives and often leave scars.

The fear of falling apart.

-This is Gospel, Panic! At the Disco

~

It happened a month ago.

Natsu sat with his head on the table, remembering that awful day. It only occurred by coincidence. He'd gotten lost in the forest after a mission he had successfully completed on his own. Happy stayed at the guild for reasons that were unknown to the fire mage. Natsu had stopped to rest when he sensed a dark and foreboding presence as well as a severe amount of magical energy nearby. He tensed when he saw Zeref walk out from behind a tree tentatively, briefly wondering why the dark mage was approaching him. Why was he here?

The truth was unveiled in heavy air and Natsu learned who he truly was, as well as the reason for his existence. He was E.N.D. Zeref was his older brother who revived him from the dead as part Etherious and part human. His view of the world changed in an instant. Hesitant to fight his new-found older brother or even talk to him, Natsu fled, running until he was on the verge of collapse.

Thoughts, worries, and doubts filled his mind. But in his heart he knew it to be true. Small memories of the past fit perfectly in his mind like puzzle pieces, even though Natsu hadn't been aware that part of his identity was missing. And Gray, Gray swore to kill E.N.D. Natsu pondered it all. His very existence was relying on Zeref's lifeline. All along, had Natsu just been the key to keeping a dangerous demon sealed? Did all of his decisions threaten the world's safety? So many questions that he wanted answers to but was to fearful to ask.

So, Natsu kept this huge secret to himself, dreading that one day something in him might break and put his friends in a perilous situation. But when he arrived back to Fairy Tail, he was unable to avoid telling the truth to Happy. The desperate wish for life to continue as it was, never-changing, had shown on his face. Despite Natsu's worries, the blue cat accepted him for who he was, confident that Natsu would never purposely wreak havoc upon others.

E.N.D was a demon highly feared by people all throughout the world. And Natsu couldn't stand the thought of being that demon. He didn't want to be feared. He didn't want to kill innocent people merely because he could. In order to keep thoughts like these out of his head, he instead focused on distracting himself. Which included constantly challenging members of the guild to a fight. When Natsu fought, it felt like everything became small and insignificant. After a good spar Natsu felt happier and lighter, not as concerned. But whenever the topic of Zeref and E.N.D. came up, his fears returned and he mentally shut down, blotting out the world and forgetting himself completely. Erza often questioned as to why he zoned out but Natsu refused to answer her seriously, avoiding her prodding with excuses or jokes.

But all of it was a fake protective wall that Natsu put up in order to protect everyone, including himself.

Because he was E.N.D.

And the worst possible scenario he could ever imagine, was the death of those he loved, by his own hand, along with being unable to control whatever demon he held within himself.

Natsu was suddenly jolted out of his thoughts by a hard slap on the back. He looked up to see Gray looking down at him fiercely. Gray, seeing the misery in Natsu's eyes, softened slightly, wondering why his friend looked so depressed.