Ain't It SALTY

You might be the one who's running things

Hayley's POV (see Will's song above):

"Hayley, are you ready to rock day two?" I turn around and force a smile at Taylor. "Umm, yeah. I mean, there's a lot going through my head... about, you know..." I nodded toward the stage where Dalton was performing. "But it'll be good, maybe a good distraction for me..."

"Hey, Hayley!" Just as I was about to catch my breath, none other than Will shows up next to me. "Will, now's not really the best time..." "Nonsense! Dalton's set goes on for another ten minutes, surely you can give me just a minute or two?" He smiles at me so innocently, so I hesitantly nod my head, and we step over to the side of the room. He grabs one of Dalton's guitars from behind his shoulder and starts playing a song...

I wanna keep you for good so I swear that I'll keep my word
Open doors, carry bags, always putting my lady first
I''ll be writing you letters all in cursive
I won't mess up your mascara, just your lipstick
Even if I'm living in the wrong time...
I'll do it like they did it way back then
Please and thank you just to hold your hand
I'll convince you chivalry ain't dead
So can I be your gentleman?
Baby can I, can I, can I, can I, can I be your gentleman?

Cute song for sure, but at this point, I'm starting to get very uncomfortable - not wanting to hurt Will's feelings, but also wanting him desperately to butt out. I look down and fiddle nervously with my pocket chain, feeling very mismatched with this very sweet, innocent fan that has no idea how awkward this whole thing is. Talk about clingy.

"Hey, Will, I know you mean well, but Hayley's just not... into this. We have to go on stage shortly, and I'm gonna need to ask you to give her some space." Will's face drops at the notice of Taylor's voice and firm hand in his shoulder. He turns pretty red, and then nods before walking away, looking more hurt than ever, but he appears to have finally gotten the message.

"Hayley, I hope you don't mind - you looked uncomfortable and I couldn't stand to see you suffer much longer." I smile at Taylor. "Actually I'm really glad that you jumped in when you did. Thank you." And then without thinking, I reach up and kiss his cheek.

"Hayley?! What the heck?!?" Apparently Dalton got off stage just as I thanked Taylor with an extremely platonic kiss on the cheek. "Oh my gosh, Dalton, it's not what it looks like! I was just thanking him for getting Will to back off a little -"

He puts his hand up. "I don't, I don't want to hear it." And he stomps off toward his cabin. I turn to run after him but Taylor grabs my hand. "We're on in thirty seconds. Are you okay to do the show?" I nod my head, sucking back the tears. "Yes, and no. I really want to talk to him, but the fans come first. I'll be alright." I wipe my face with my hands, hoping my mascara didn't smear. I turn to Zac. "Is my makeup okay?" He nods, and then gives me a quick hug. "I saw what happened, so sorry Hayley. But the show must go on!" And we all run onto the stage to give our Parahoy guests another world-class show. Even if my insides have crumbled, my outer appearance remains neutral - that's part of show biz, keeping a calm facade even when it's really hard to.

Dalton's POV:

I'm walking off stage after my last song, and I swear I see Hayley kissing Taylor's cheek. Wait, what?!? I march over there immediately to confront them. "Hayley!? What the heck?!" She makes up some random excuse about Taylor helping away from Will or whatever, but I don't buy it. At all. "I don't want to hear it." And I run to my cabin before anyone sees me cry.

Halfway there, the swirling thoughts and fears in my head start colliding, and I feel an anxiety attack coming on. Even though I haven't known Hayley for long, her two-faced attitude is a trigger that reminds me of the time Madison cheating on me. I was devastated for a long, long time. My anxiety ramped up and I had to re-balance my meds. I was a mess for a while, after that, and the worst part of it, is not knowing. You never know why the other person made the choice they did, but the default understanding is that it was somehow something you did. And that alone is what eats me alive inside.

I tear open the door, slam it behind me, and collapse on the musty, yellowed carpet. My guitar sits face-down on the floor behind me, and my heaving shoulders match my rising heartbeat. Panic attacks can't really be avoided, I've found that it's often just best to get to a safe place and ride it out. So that's what I do - I sit, and cry, and try to gather up the pieces. And the worst thing is that although this is Hayley I'm hurt about, it brings back all the old her ache from Madison. So this is double the pain for only one girl.

"Hey Dalton, are you okay?" I hear Will's voice in the doorway, but I'm too upset to turn around and acknowledge him. "Go away!" I manage between muddled sobs and shaky breaths. "Oh no, is this another panic attack?" The silence answers him, affirming what he likely already knew. Will is a good guy, just a really loyal friend. I want to be alone but even then, he knows I need someone. So he gets down on the gross carpet with me and pats my shoulder. "Dalton, I'm sorry I let my fanatical obsession with Paramore get in the way of things. I hate fighting with you, you're my best friend." I'm touched by his words but can't seem to squeeze any words out of my narrowing throat. "I think... Hayley's really not into me anyway... So I'm going to back off from now on. She's all yours!" More muffled sobbing. "Doesn't that help? I thought that was what you were panicking about..."

"No! She... She... SHE KISSED TAYLOR!!!" Will's face dropped, his eyes wide. "What? Seriously? Are you sure? What kind of kiss?" I'm still sobbing like crazy, my chest heaving with anger and sadness. My bipolar disorder makes strong emotions even stronger, so intense that it's hard to control them. "It was... It was on his cheek -" Will relaxes. "Oh, well... That might not be romantic..." "What else could it be?!?" "I don't know, Dalton... I've been kissed on the cheek by a very platonic friend before. It doesn't actually mean anything that way. At least, it didn't to me..."

You 'd think that kind of idea would be comforting, a glimmer of hope in the midst of a really crappy thing. But somehow, that hope was more painful than anything. I'm already falling fast into the dark of my soul, I'd rather just stay there a while - it's a great place to cry.