10.23.14
02:41am
Dear jimin,
I saw you walking on the sidewalk.. You looked drunk.
You ended up pushing your back into a wall and sliding down to the floor. Your hands touched your eyes.
I walked outside and stood beside you. You looked up at me and told me to go away.
"No." I said.
You stood up and stumbled a bit. You put your hand to my face and slapped me.
"Go away!" You yelled at me. "Get away from me! I hate you! I don't need you, I never did!
My hand touched my cheek as I walked back to my house. Tears fell down my eyes and small sobs came out of me.
Why would you do such a thing?
I went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. My cheek began to swell. I looked at my pale skin and messy blonde hair.
I really wasn't good enough for him..
I opened the cabinet door and looked for my razor. I finally found it and looked at myself in the mirror one more time. I walked out of the bathroom and sat down at my desk. I laid out my arm and began to cut deeply into my arm.
"Ugh!" I yelled.
It hurt so bad, but it felt so right.
I stopped cutting myself and walked to my bed and sat down. I looked down at my arm and looked at the bleeding wound.
Beautiful.
I saw a pill bottle sitting on my dresser. Whatever I did, I couldn't stop thinking about killing myself tonight.
Jimin hates me. I'm not good enough. I'm worthless.
04:16am
Jimin, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. Please forgive me.. I love you.
That was the last thing I wrote. I called jimin.
"Jimin.." I said weakly.
"Yoongi? What do you want? It's 4 in the morning and I have a bad headache." Jimin said.
"I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I love you so much." I said while sobbing softly.
"Yoongi.. I don't understand.." Jimin said.
"Goodbye jimin. Please forgive me." I said and hung up.
I stood up and walked in front of my dresser and grabbed the pill bottle. I walked over to my desk and also grabbed all of the notes I've written you. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I opened the pill bottle and took all of them into my hand. I put my hand to my mouth and swallowed all the pills. I instantly began to feel dizzy. Everything was spinning, I saw black dots everywhere. My vision got blurrier. I sat beside the bathtub, waiting to die.
My eyes became heavier and heavier. I soon heard loud knocks on the door.
"Yoongi! Please open the door!"
It was jimin.
I was too weak to open the door at this point. I couldn't even speak properly.
My eyes finally closed. The last thing I whispered was I love you.
