Taking Risks

Five

You stand in front of a cell, staring down at Bucky.. who's kneeling down and still bleeding out from where you shot him.

"I'm sorry, Bucky.." You whispered to him, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't..." He gasped, wincing at the pain as he clutches his bleeding side, "...don't apologize.. Please, Y/N.. It's okay."

"It's not okay, Bucky.. I almost killed you, I'm surprised I didn't.. I had no control." You said, gripping the bars separating you from Bucky. "You should've ran faster.."

"I.. I didn't want to leave you." He pushed himself against the wall, groaning, "I'd rather die than leave you here.."

You see him, his dry and chapped lips, how he speaks hoarsely, trying so hard. All you want is to save him but you couldn't, you reach down to your pocket, grabbing the pen and paper you kept from earlier, "Please, help him. He's hurt."

*Soon. Leave him.*

The message said, you close your eyes, choking back tears. You turn around and walked away, he yells at you, "Don't leave me! Please, don't!"

And that was it, you snapped. Sprinting toward the two teenage scientists, innocently working in the lab and bashing their heads on the corner of the table, kicking them repeatedly as they begged you to stop. You didn't want to stop, you didn't stop until both of them were bloodied mess on the floor and almost dead. That's the only way you can release all the anger inside you, boiling hot rage just waiting to get out.

You look up to see Mindy staring down at you, "Oh, Agent Y/N.. You shouldn't have done that." She said, and something- or someone- tazed you from behind and knocked you out.

-

You wake up to the sound of someone talking, Mindy. Slowly, you open your eyes to see you're inside a small room, with just a dimly lit hanging light, and Bucky strapped on a metal chair, with wires directly on his head, across you. Looking around, you noticed that there are no restraints on you. As you were about to stand up, Mindy turns to you and says, "Oh, good. You're awake.. Honestly, Agent Y/N, we didn't want it to go this far."

"What are you doing?! What are you doing to him?!" You yelled, standing up to attack Mindy but a surge of electricity inside your head stopped you, causing you to fall on your knees and yell in pain. "Stop!" You begged,

"Sit back down, Agent." Mindy said nonchalantly. Turning back to Bucky who has his eyes closed, seemed to be unconscious. "We're teaching you about control. Since you mindlessly lost your wits today." Mindy smiled, graciously fixing the wires on Bucky.

You sit back down, rubbing your temples to ease the pain from the electrocution. "Control??"

"Yes, you need to have a little bit of self-control, of course!" Mindy chirped enthusiastically, "We're gonna retrieve Agent Barnes' memories from HYDRA today... Sounds fun, right?"

"You psycho! Just stop it! Stop!" You yelled, holding yourself back, because you know what's gonna happen as soon as you stand up.

"Oh, don't worry! It won't hurt him when he's fast asleep, it'll be just like dreaming for him... A nightmare, maybe," She points at him, and forcefully slaps him awake, causing Bucky to jolt up and panic. You see him trying to pull his arms and legs free, but you know he can't. It's built with the same metal they used when they operated on you.

"But when he's awake though... Oh, it'll hurt. Not only will he feel fire in his head, he'll see every little thing he did when he was with HYDRA." Mindy smirked, her eyes screamed evil in every possible way, "Every. Little. Thing."

"No.. No, please! Please! Don't do this!" Bucky screamed, all the years he tried to forget everything he did, tried to bury his past. Every memory tucked away deep in his brain, he'll see it. Feel it. It will break him, and you're not sure you're ready to see that.

"920, proceed." Mindy said, then all of a sudden, you hear Bucky scream in excruciating pain.. And fear. You see his face, you see how much pain he's in, "Stop it! Please stop it! I'll learn control! Just stop this!"

"Don't you hate me, Agent? For doing this to your Bucky? Don't you just wanna bash my head on the floor?" Mindy suggested, there's nothing more you want in the world. You could think of a hundred and one ways to hurt Mindy, but you can't. You know you can't, but when you shift your gaze to Bucky, with his eyes wide open, gritted teeth and screaming, tears fell from your eyes.

Mindy is not stopping, and Bucky's screams grow louder than before, he begs for them to stop it. "I don't want this, please! Please let me go! Stop it, please!" Bucky screamed, his struggle to get out is unbearable to watch. And you can't do anything than just sit there and cry, you're useless.

"Please, just kill me! Let me die! I don't want this!" You hear Bucky scream, his voice echoed in the room, and those words hurt you the most. Because he's been ready to leave this world long before he met you, he wanted to end everything, all the pain and misery. He wanted to die, and when you met him, he changed his mind.

To hear him say those words again, triggered something inside you. You don't care about the fucking electrocution, they could kill you for all you care, you need to save Bucky. All the effort both of you did for him to recover will not be wasted in this doctor quack laboratory.

When Mindy turned around to look at Bucky, you quickly rushed to her and kicked her on the back. She hit her head on the wall, everything on her hands falling on the floor, she stood up, stumbling. "Come and fucking get me." You said.

She charged to you and without warning, you punched her as hard as you can. You can feel her jaw cracking as she falls, and you didn't waste time with that. You went to her and did everything you can, kicking, punching, and stomping to keep her on the ground. And when she asked you to stop, you stared at Mindy and straddled her, you said, "Stop?! I'm not gonna fucking stop until I see your messed up brain on this filthy floor.."

That was the last thing you said before you bashed her head on the floor, five times? Maybe ten? You lost count, and you kept your word, you didn't stop, until she laid there dead, blood gushing out of her.

You stood up quickly to remove the wires connected to Bucky, "Hold on, Buck. It's almost out.. It's almost over.. You can do this." You whispered, all you can see are the white of Bucky's eyes. Finally, you removed every wire on him, but the restraints are still attached. You crouched down to Mindy, finding exactly what you're looking for and let Bucky free.

He's rattled and out of his head, shocked.. Maybe confused. But you held him up and put his arm around you as you walked aimlessly out of the hallways. A few guards spotted and attacked you but it's nothing you can't handle. As you'te about to reach the exit doors though, Bucky finally managed to whisper, "You should've... you should've let me... die." He choked, blood running down his nose, "I can't live... with those memories again.."

"I can't do that to you, Bucky. I can't let you die... not if I can do something about it." You groaned, his heavy weight all on your shoulders.

"She refreshed my mem-...memories, Y/N.. It's like.. I feel like I did all those things all over again.. It's so vivid and real...." He paused, wincing at the pain from where he's shot. Just a few steps away from the exit, "It's gonna haunt me in my sleep again."

Finally reaching the exit, and ran as far away as you can with Bucky's weight on you, S.H.I.E.L.D helicarriers revealed their cloak and dropped down a rope, in all the rattling noise you managed to yell, "This time, I'll be there to help you again... I'll always be."
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Belated Happy Birthday to our Papi Chulo, Sebastian Stan!! ❤❤ Who turned 34 today, daaaaaamnnn he's like a fine wine.