Taking Risks

Seven

;;BUCKY;;

Waking up seems like such a huge mistake now for Bucky, he couldn't get one minute of silence without Fury or Steve or one of the nurses asking him questions of what happened in the lab. Everything was so surreal, no matter how much the soldier wanted to tell himself that it was all just a horrible dream, it wasn't. Because how could he kid himself? He was the one who did it. All the people he killed, the blood... he could almost smell it, touch it. 

"Steve, I'm fine.. Calm down." Bucky said, groaning in pain as he tried to sit up on his bed.

"Fine? I told you that woman  will be the death of you.. I told you!" Steve hissed, exaggeratedly gesturing at the door. Bucky's face scrunched up at that, he never liked it when Steve talked ill about his fiance, it's not right. "I'm sorry. It's just.. you know I never liked her for you, the way she got in S.H.I.E.L.D's radar, it's not... good. Natasha's wanted you for years--"

"No.." Bucky cut him off, if he continues what he's saying there will be bad blood. And as much as possible, Bucky's trying to avoid that. "Please, Steve.. can you just stop? My head is hurting from all your ramble. And it's not like Nat got into S.H.I.E.L.D in a good way.."

"Natasha's different, we've known her for a long time, you've worked with her before." Steve said but Bucky just gave him a look, just asking him to stop everything he's saying. "Sorry.. You know what I'm trying to say anyway, right? "

"Yeah, man.. I know about Natasha, we all do. But I love Y/N... and I proposed to her, don't try to change that." Bucky finally said, sending an apologetic look towards Steve. He owes this man everything, his whole life, he wanted to do what he says and go with Natasha but something inside him just doesn't think it's meant to be. 

Steve stood next to his bestfriend's bed, putting a hand on his shoulder gently, "I just don't like seeing you in pain. You should know that by now."

And he should, after everything that's happened between them, he should know that no matter how difficult the situation is, Steve would choose him over anything in a snap of a finger. Sometimes it scares Bucky at how loyal and trusting Steve is towards him, he could say the same thing about himself.. but somewhere inside, he knows it would be a lie.

Natasha came in just a few moments after that, smiling warmly at the two men. Bucky shoots a quick smile in her direction. "Hey, boys. I got some fruits for the dying one.." She joked.

"Bucky's not dying, Nat." Steve always seemed to get triggered when Natasha jokes about Bucky's death, no one could blame him though, for how many times has he been ripped out of the face of existence, only to be brought back again.

"Yeah, he's old.. his time will come soon enough." She joked again, Bucky and Natasha laughed at that, but Steve just continued to frown and shake his head, walking towards the table where Natasha had put the food on to.

"Thanks for worrying about my death, Nat. I appreciate it." the soldier said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Natasha whose arms are crossed, standing beside Bucky's bed.

"Oh, I'm not worried about your death.. you know I never was. And I never will.." She just smiled, eyes shifting around Bucky's face. She opened her mouth to say something else but quickly closed it as she shook her head and closed her eyes, typical Natasha. 

"What is it?" Bucky asked, curious.

"Nothing.. You're just.. you're too beautiful, and I hate that you're in this situation." Her smile faded, face turning into worry. It was real. "If I was there I would've saved you sooner. Y/N didn't have the right training to be in a field mission with you and--"

"Just stop! If you have nothing good to say just leave! I don't need your shit in here!" Bucky yelled, he saw Steve turn his head quickly at that. "Just leave! Go! Since I woke up, all you two did was talk shit about Y/N! Why?! She didn't do anything to you! All she ever did was to put up with both your shit and hate on her. Like you said, Y/N wasn't much of a fighter, she didn't have the skills like yours, she was scared and hurt, but she did it anyway.." Bucky's eyes stings of tears threatening to fall down. He wiped his eyes, feeling like a little kid, he looked up at Natasha and Steve who both looked mortified at what he had just said.

"All you did was give her a hard time.. You two could easily be in that mission but you weren't, she did it all by herself and she managed to save me. So if you have nothing good to say about my fiance, just leave. I don't need you here." Bucky explained, sniffing and wiping his tears. He really didn't want to show this side of him in front of his friends, but they simple didn't give that much of a choice.

Bucky hated arguments, but what he hated more was patronizing.

"Look, we just wanted what's best for you.. And we felt like she wasn't good enough, and we're sorry that you think we're just trying to bully her, we aren't.. And if we knew she meant this much to you, we wouldn't have done it." Steve explained, sitting down to Bucky's bed, looking apologetic.

"You did know how much she means to me.. I told you about her in our missions together. But you kept pushing Natasha on my face." Bucky sighed, he's just so done with this conversation. Again and again when he's with Steve, they would end up in an argument about the same damn thing, he's just fed up with it already.

Bucky was about to say something when Fury came in, he looked at the soldier with a sad expression, even with just one eye, he could read the director's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Barnes." He quietly said, his voice filled with so much regret. Fury's eyes shifted to Steve then to Natasha, as if they're trying to communicate with one another.

Bucky was left confused and out of place, a little worried as he feels his heart beat go faster. "Wha-what? Why?"

"Something happened to Y/N.."

----

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