Awks. ✓

Chapter 37: Bethany's Letter.

Marianne,

If you're reading this, then I guess that means I actually did it.

Crazy huh? One minute you're in this world and the next, you're gone forever. I honestly don't even know why I'm writing this. My hand's just moving on its own, writing down words my brain can't even be bothered to filter.

I guess I should start off with an apology. I haven't treated you the best these past couple of months and I'm sorry for that. At first, I just did it to preoccupy myself from the thoughts that were eating me alive, then it became more of a routinely thing for me to do.

Let's just say that I've been battling a war of my own for quite some time now and this time, I haven't come out as victor. I know that's a dumb excuse to make for bullying you and constantly making you feel like shit but believe it or not, I did all that so that I could get closer to you. Stupid, I know. It's just, I knew you would never want to be my friend after the way I had treated you. I thought maybe, just maybe if you remotely knew how I felt on a daily basis then we might have something in common but I was wrong.

You never cracked but I did.

My words never seemed to discourage you. It was as if they went into one ear only to come out of the other. That was our difference; you never let words get to you.

Back in high school I was a part of the 'popular' clique. Life came pretty easy until I graduated and never went to college like the rest of them. They all saw me as dead weight and cut me off one by one, including my alleged 'best friend', leaving me with no one to rant to, no one to listen, no one to care.

I don't get along with my parents nor my older brother at all. When I'm at home, I lock myself up in my room and hardly ever leave it unless it's completely necessary. I was always being compared to my brother who got a scholarship to Yale. You'd think I'd rest a bit when he finally moved out but no; he might've been miles away but he was still the perfect image of a child a parent could ever want. I on the other hand, was not.

I let words get the best of me and push me to do what I did. I don't blame anyone but myself because if I used those comments and juiced a bit of positivity out of them maybe, just maybe I would've made something out of myself. But it's too late. I'm drowning in my own sorrow and I really do hope you understand that what I did was the only outlet I saw for myself.

I don't want you to ever reach the point that I have. Don't you ever let words consume you. You're a rose and I was a mere dandelion. You're blossoming because you've finally discovered the potential that's been inside of you all along.

You're kindhearted, smart, funny and absolutely beautiful and you deserve the best in life. Whenever you're feeling down in the ditches, you read this paragraph over and over again. That's why I highlighted it.

I'm not going to write a bunch load of letters for the others but I do have a few things I'd like to tell them. Could you please forward this to them?

Tom: thank you for opening Marianne's eyes to see the world in colours she never knew even existed. You're good for her. Please stick around for a bit longer.

Claire: get off your phone and enjoy the outside world for a change. You're always reblogging picture of trees and mountains and shit. Go for a damn hike you antisocial freak.

Alexander: man up already and start talking more. Get out there and make more friends, maybe even get yourself a girlfriend while you're at it.

Dylan: stop letting life be the little bitch that it is and stomp all over you. Stand your ground and go after what you want.

And you Marianne: always remember that there's a fine line between being stuck up and knowing your self worth. Embrace every hardship with a smile.

Learn and love.

Have fun.

And live on, for the both of us.

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A/N:

This is the last of my pre-written chapters and I need to start writing again asap, I don't even know what I'm going to do for the next chapter omg

Bethany Andrews: played by Bethany Mota.

Feel free to comment, vote, follow, whatever :')

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