late night thoughts.

If only they knew.

Its funny to me that my friends and everyone thinks that I drink just to drink or because I think its cool. If only they knew why I actually drink. I drink because I hope that ill be young enough and become an alcoholic by the time i'm actually 21 so I can die soon. I drink because I don't really care what happens to me. I drink because I want it to destroy me and kill me. Its really not that hard to figure out I make it kind of obvious because I really don't care who finds out. I just wish someone knew the real me not the me that's happy most of the time trying to make other people happy and trying to fit in because I don't really care about friends I don't have any anyways. I stopped telling people about the real me because every time I told someone they left and i'm just really tired of people leaving me. If I told someone I would probably regret it anyways so I guess ill just keep quiet until something else happens or until I die. Anyways stay positive ily.

-xoxo Ell