Mistakes

Mistake Part 6

"I am not Misha. My name is Castiel and you are in a coma."

You didn't believe what you were hearing. This was impossible. Castiel was only a character. And how did the park, the bench, and Jensen disappear into darkness.

"Ok. Say you are Castiel, what is going on? I was just with Jensen Ackles and when i kissed him everything disappeared."

"Y/N, this is all a dream. Over a year ago Dean Winchester was your boyfriend and he cheated on you. You were so upset about it that you were afraid that it would get you killed during a hunt. So you asked me to erase your memory and return you to Colorado, were your apartment remained."

It was all feeling familiar but you didn't remember it.

"So what do you want me to do since I'm in a coma?"

"The human mind is a lot like heaven. There is a secret pathway that you need to follow to regain consciousness. It is different for everyone. For you it is kissing Dean over and over again. But i have to warn you, every time you continue down your path after every point you will be in a fair amount of pain."

"Alright I will do my best." you said still unsure if any of this was real.

"Sam and Dean are right at your side waiting for you to wake up. Good luck, Y/N." and with that he was gone.

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"Y/N, look out!!" Jensen or you guess Dean called as you ducked avoiding the ghoul's grab. Dean shot off the monster's head and helped you up off the ground. "You ok?"

"Ya, I'm fine." You remembered this. It was a hard hunt that you and Dean were on. It had been weeks since you picked up this case and you were about to give up. That was until the younger Winchester got himself kidnapped again.

"Hey you hungry? Because I could really go for some chili cheese fries." Dean said opening the front door to his baby.

"Ya a big burger sounds great too." You said a little hesitant. This was the first hunt you went on with Dean since you two decided to become a couple. It had really scared you because when a ghoul decided to try to take a bite of Dean it made you realize just how dangerous it was to have a relationship in this life. It scared you.

After getting dinner and going back to the bunker you went straight to your room without a word. Dean noticed and followed you with concern.

"Y/N, I've seen that face before. In fact I've worn that face before. You don't need to worry about me. No matter how bad it gets I will fight till the end."

"I know but seeing you today pinned against the wall almost getting bitten, that scared me. Why did we think this was a good idea?" you said looking at your feet.

"Because I would not be able to live without you by my side each and every day." Dean cupped your cheeks bringing your eyes to meet his. He pressed his perfectly molded lips into yours.

It was pure bliss until you fell to the ground in pain. It wasn't anywhere specific so you couldn't focus on one body part. Little did you know that while you crouched in pain in your head but you also rolled up into a ball on the outside.

The next few times brought back pretty much all your memories. But it more painful than the last. You went from having a memory of Dean taking care of you when you had the flu, snuggling with you to keep you comfortable to the memory of you and Dean having a prank war and things went so far that Dean had to apologize. You didn't know how much more pain you could take. The scariest part was that you had to go through the pain part alone. That hurt more than your pain itself.

The next part was different than the rest. This was the night that Dean cheated on you. All the pain before was nothing compared to what you were feeling now. Your thoughts from that night came back to you like boomerang,

No one will ever love you, you're pathetic, your other boyfriend cheated on you and this one too, take a hint you are ugly and everybody hates you, no wonder they cheat on you, you're so needy and clingy, cant you take a hint GO AWAY YOU UGLY WHORE!!!

Tears ran down your face as you wished that you could erase your memory again but this time Cas wasn't going to appear. You had to fix things with Dean, as much as it hurt you needed to wake up.

Sam was still yelling at Dean when you walked downstairs. They both saw you and stopped.

"Y/N..."Dean started apologetically

"Do you love me?" you cut him off with a nervous whisper.

"What-"

"Do. You. Love. Me." You began to yell with tears still flowing down your cheeks.

"Of coarse I do, Sweetheart. I-"

"Than why did where you with that girl? Was I not enough?" You said with an obvious hurt tone.

"No, no, no you are everything to me. You're my whole world." You dared not look into his eyes hoping that it hurt him a little to see you this way.

"W-why were you all over that... that... skank at the motel, than?" By this time Sam went to his room, fearing that he would rip his brother's head off, leaving you and Dean to talk.

"I was afraid of getting to close to you. Everyone that I love dies. I can't lose you to. I know this is the worst possible way to keep you safe, but I didn't think I had a choice. I am really stupid into thinking that this is the way but i realized when I saw how broken you were at the motel that I made a huge mistake. Those sluts didn't mean anything to me. I hope you can understand."

There was a long pause before you decided to look in his eye to see if he was telling the truth. You looked up into those emerald green eyes and saw how red and puffy they were. He was crying. Dean Winchester was crying because he hurt you.

"Dean, you once told me that you would fight till the end. I need you to Dean. You can't just fight monsters to stay alive you have to fight for us to be together as well." you walked up to him and held his cheek which he leaned into.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I love you so much and now that I know that I need to fight for us I hope you can give me a second chance?" He asked as he smiled sadly as to beg for forgiveness.

"Of coarse I will. But you have to know that my heart is an instrument that you can play. It will take me time to trust you again." you had your arms wrapped around his neck now.

"As long as you are with me I think I can live with that." He leaned in and kissed you one last time and instead of sharp pain in your body you were left with the pain of reality. Dean really did cheat on you and that part never happened.

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"Y/N?!" Dean yelled as your eyes fluttered open. He looked awful. His eye were lined with dark circles, his hair was a mess, and his skin was unusually pale. As soon as you woke up he jumped out of his chair and rushed to your side.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you so much you had to erase your memory and run away." He said as tears came to his eyes. You weren't sure if they were tears of joy or tears of pain, maybe both.

"I know, Dean. You hurt me. You hurt me bad. I had a realization in my coma state and if you want to protect me you need to protect us. Stop worrying about me getting killed because of you. Some day I will die and so will you but I would much rather die with you by my side than without you." You said sternly.

"I understand and I will never ever do it again. Just please forgive me." he was kneeling at your bedside now, holding your hand.

"I forgive you." You smiled and Dean missed that so much it had been so long since he has seen you smile or laugh. He wanted to taste that smile again so he kissed you but this time it was the real him. You decided at that moment that your memory was to precious to make the mistake in getting rid of it again.