This page goes with the last one :)
The comebacks the signs use:
Aries - You don't have to. There's a chair right over there.
Taurus - You look like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a jackhammer.
Gemini - Because I'm always ready for your funeral.
Cancer - It's not the sun that's hurting my eyes. It's your face.
Leo - You wear that ugly face everyday, but I don't complain.
Virgo - I value quality, not quantity.
Libra - It's not my fault I causally accidentally look like a supermodel.
Scorpio - And tonight, when you are asleep, I will "just assume" you're dead and bury you in the backyard.
Sagittarius - *hugs him* Life must be so hard for the visually impaired.
Capricorn - Let's just say someone just died.
Aquarius - That's because it's on you
Pisces - I can get plastic surgery to get rid of my ugliness. You on the other hand, will be stupid for eternity.
