Heavy Rain / I'll wait for you in the rain

2. Broken

(2 years later)

I let the rain spray on my face in order to wash away the feeling of loss.
It's three o'clock now.
When I'm about to get lost in thinking, the bell is ringing. It pulls me back to reality.

There are many students coming out from the classroom with smiling. And I try to find Jason through the crowd, but I find nothing.
And then I see a boy walking slowly in the back of the kids, it's Shaun. I walk to him immediately and say, "Hey Shaun. Why don't you use the umbrella? It's raining..." I take out an umbrella and hold it between us. "Here, let's go."
"You're wet, mom. Why didn't you use it while waiting me?" He says to me and treads water in the puddle. Yeah, why not?

I take him to the car and ready to go home. He still choose the rear seat. I asked him why he doesn't want to sit on the passenger seat before, and he said that the passenger seat always belongs to Jason.
In order to break silence, I ask, "How is your school today? Did any interesting thing happen?" He replies quickly, "Nothing special."
"OK, then... let's go home." I drive away from the school. It's still raining.
On the way home, we don't talk too much. And I always feel uncomfortable when we stay silence.

Shaun is a really kind boy. After 'that thing', he seldom mentions it. But when I look at him, I know that he's always unhappy... And that makes me hurt so much.
I brought Shaun to move in this apartment last year, and I decided to take care of him by myself. Although Ethan separated from us, I can protect Shaun no matter what happen. Because I know we can make it.

"Shaun, you can get off first, I'm parking now." I turn to him and say. "OK." He nods and leaves. When I get home, Shaun is watching cartoon on the sofa. I go upstairs and head to my room. After changing me wet cloth, I look out through the window. It rains heavily, and the sky is getting darker.
In recent years, the rainy season in Philadelphia is longer than before. It make this house damp. And I start to worry that Shaun could get sick. I should work harder and look for another better house.

I go down and see the clock on the wall. It's 5 o'clock now. I walk to the kitchen and pick up a banana. "Shaun, I'll prepare for dinner. Do you want to eat a banana while I'm cooking?" I ask him. He gets up and says, "Sure! Thanks mom."
I decide to make his favorite dish- lasagne. All I want to do is make him happy.
"Oh, by the way, do you have homework?" I ask.
"Yeah, the math. Please mom, let me watch the TV a little longer. I'll do it later."
"OK, but don't forget it! We can do it together."

The dinner is done, we eat together in the dinning table.
"Mom! It's really good!" He says as eating.
"Well, then I'll do it every week!"
He smiles at me and keeps eating. I always finish the dish first and then I can watch him eating. That makes me happy.
After dinner, he does homework with me, and it's about 9 o'clock.
"It's time to bed! Baby." I take him to the second floor and head to his room. " Shaun, can you go home yourself tomorrow? I have something important to do in the noon. After that, I will take you to the park, OK?" I say to him.
I'll have to see the doctor tomorrow, so I can't be absent.
"Sure, I got it..." He says.
"Good night, my baby." I'm going to leave the room, and he grabs my hand and asks, "Mom, where is my blue teddy?" He always sleep with a teddy with blue fur.
"I don't know. Did you lose it again? I'll find it, don't worry!"

I go to the room between mine and his. This room is a play room. There are a lot of books and toys in here. Besides Shaun's things, there are some stuff belongs to Jason...
Shaun and I often spend time in this room while weekend. We draw together, read together.
"There you are!" I find the teddy lying on the drawing table. When I pick it up, a piece of paper flow down to the ground. I pick it up and see, it's a family portrait. Shaun drew this picture! There are four people in there, they hold each other's hands and stand side by side. It's father, Jason, Shaun, and me...

They all looks so happy.

I notice a line of words written below : I have to protect mom.

"Mom! My teddy!" Shaun says loudly. Then I'm shocked that I burst into tears now.
I wipe away my tears and say, "Here I come!" I walk into the room and bring the teddy to him.
"Thanks, mom!" He says and holds it tight.
"Good night, my baby." I leave the room and close the door.

Leaving the door with a line of light, I head to the playroom again. I pick up the picture, and fall into the swirl of memory...