in the hills • zayn malik

one- bewilderment

one- bewilderment

song for this chapter: 'sweetheart, what have you done to us' by Keaton Henson

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He didn’t know if he was allowed to see her on the day before their wedding, but he couldn’t stay away. Her large blue eyes and wide smile meant that he never wanted to leave her side. He played carefully with her blonde hair, feeling her eyes on him.

“Zayn?” She said, starting to trace patterns on the arm that was wrapped around her thin waist. He felt goosebumps rise where her fingers touched his skin.

“Yeah?” He said, placing a kiss on her neck, inhaling her sharp strawberry scent.

Perrie sat up, making him frown slightly. She was fiddling with the sheets, bunching it up into knots. He couldn’t tell if she was upset or worried, her eyes averting his. He reached to take her hand, to assure her, but she pulled away slightly, leaving him stung.

“Perrie, what’s wrong?” He asked, and he could hear the panic in his own voice.

She didn’t say anything, and closed her eyes for a second, before climbing out of the bed, starting to change out of her pyjamas into the clothes strewn on the floor. He watched her, trying to talk but unable to speak.

“Perrie?” He said weakly, hastily throwing the sheets off him, leaving them in a jumbled heap on the floor. “W-what are you doing?”

She stopped and looked at him, running a hand through her white-blonde hair. She had always been beautiful to Zayn, and even now that he didn't understand what she was doing, in the morning light her skin glowed, every curve of her body perfect.

“Zayn, I just... I don’t know if I...” She said in a rush, her eyes wide, a frown set on her lips. He walked up to her, grabbing her hands, trying to keep her from doing whatever she was going to do.

“Love, you can tell me.” He said, attempting to smile reassuringly down at her, though probably to her it looked more like a pained grimace.

“I need to go.” Perrie said, ripping her hands out of his, a distressed look on her face, her eyes not looking at his.

She went to grab her bag, ruffling her hair slightly. He watched her for a moment, then started to put his pants on over his black Batman boxers, grabbing a crumpled t-shirt from the floor.

“Perrie-” He said, and he could hear the desperation in his voice. “I don’t understand. Just please tell me.”

She paused for a moment, looking back at him with eyes full of guilt and pity. A clear tear started to run down her cheek, but before Zayn could reach her, she had opened the door and disappeared.

With his shoes untied he ran after her, his heart beating strangely in his chest. He could feel his shoes threatening to fall off, and the sweat made his top cling to him slightly, making him feel like he was being slowly compressed.

She was taking the stairs, her feet quick. He wanted to call out to her, but she was nearly at ground floor, her gracefulness meaning that she was light on her feet. Zayn almost tumbled down the stairs, his hand gripping onto the railing, not looking where he was going, but making sure that she was still there.

He ran out of the front door, seeing her walk to her car, her head bowed. Some people turned to look at the odd pair, some of them whispering, some of them instinctively knowing that something bad was going on.

The algid air nipped at Zayn’s bare arms, but he didn’t notice. He yelled out to her, and she stopped and turned around, biting her lip, some stray tears still falling.

He reached her, panting slightly. “Don’t go.” He whispered.

Perrie took in a long shaky breath, her arms wrapped around her like she was cold. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her, and tell her that whatever the problem was they could fix it, because their love was strong.

“You know I love you, right?” She said softly, and Zayn nodded vigorously.

“I know, I love you too.” He said with an almost childless eagerness clear in his voice.

“Zayn...” She started, and then gulped, straightening her back slightly as she looked straight into his brown hazel eyes.

“I can’t marry you tomorrow. I’m sorry.” She whispered.

She spun on her heel and got into her car, driving away. Zayn stood there, looking at the car receding into the distance. He hoped for a moment that she’d come back and say that it was some sick joke, and they’d kiss and everything would be ok.

But she didn’t come back, no matter how much he hoped that she would. He walked slowly back inside, up the stairs, and into his apartment, standing there for a moment.

He saw a picture of them on his dresser and he picked it up, staring at it for a moment, before he threw it to the ground with a roar, watching with some satisfaction as the glass shattered on the floor, the photo hidden in the shards of glass and wooden frame.

Anger like he had never known filled him, and he grabbed the photo of them kissing on his bedside table, chucking at the wall. The sound of glass breaking cleared his mind and abated his anger for a slight moment.

Anger only hides sadness...

He couldn’t remember where he heard the quote from, but he knew it was right. His heart lay in his chest like the pieces of glass on the floor, unfixable, broken. Confusion filled him as well as the anger already present.

 

“What did I do?” He yelled, like Perrie would be able to hear. “What did I do?”

He stopped yelling and stood there panting. His eyes slid around the apartment, and rested on the car keys sitting on the small table. He blinked once, and walked over to the keys, picking them up.

Just run away. He thought, immensely liking the sound of the idea. Just get away.

And with that, Zayn Malik left his apartment, locking it behind him (of course) and with nothing to his name other than his Batman boxers, loose black tracksuit pants, some worn out Converse and an unwashed t-shirt, he got into his car and started to drive.

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i am so excited for this, i haven't been able to stop thinking about it... i hope all of you like it as well :)

vote and comment if you liked it, and if you didn't... well, it'd be good to get some criticism

Sara xx