I lost myself while losing you. I had to build myself up from scratch again. I had pain in my head and had to searched who I was while showing everyone else a smile. So it seemed to be easy living, so I seemed to be happy anyway. But inside I was dying. I cried every night before I went to sleep. I cried every morning because I knew i'd never woke up by your side again. I had to deal with the fact you were gone with somebody else and was more happy than ever. I had to deal with the fact I wasn't the reason of your smile anymore. I was destroyed inside, couldn't breath well, couldn't have a real smile, couldn't love anybody but you. Destroyed by your promises, those you wasn't able to keep. I never searched that much to know someone, and that someone was me this time... Because I lived for you, I lived for your happiness, to hear your voice, to feel your touch, to breath your words, chase your dreams. I was you. I lost myself because I gave it to you. I had to discover all over again my tastes, what I love, what I dislike, new passions, new friends, open my mind to others, destroy all memories of you and me. I had to construct an whole new world, but without you this time. It was hard. I was tired of overthinking, so I stoped. I began to be happy. So I stopped thinking about what others could think, about what I should have done, I forgave myself for my mistakes and started living. That's how I rediscovered love, how I changed my way to see the world, how I decided to make all my dreams come true now, not tomorrow because tomorrow is too late. I thought of my happiness first. I lived my dreams as they came and was happy again.
