Forever A Flower

Emotions on High!

  The next day I woke up with a lost empty feeling in me. When I looked at myself in the mirror my hair wasn't aqua anymore but jet black my eyes were sliver in color and the markings were gone my nails were all black now. Luna came in and dropped what she held in her hands on the floor. I turned to look at her and she looked shocked and scared. I turned back and walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out the blackest outfit I could find. Which were these leather skinny leg pants, an over-sized knitted black and gray sweater and some black heels. I had Luna do my makeup dark in shade with red lipstick. I wore silver jewelry that day. I headed out and down into the Dining and when I walked in Rae gasped at seeing me. "What?" I said in a hiss. "It's just you don't look like you." He said. "I don't know who I am not anymore." I said sitting across from him. "Lord Junsu isn't joining us." He said. I just nodded as the food came out I ate then left. Rae said he had nothing for me today since everyone was still cleaning up after yesterday. I found my way to the library finding something to read. I felt his eyes watching me before I saw him. "Lord Junsu is there anything you need me for or are you going to burn holes in my head." I said now looking over my shoulder at him. His hair was different now it was red and his nails were black. "I'm just shocked at how my mood changed so did yours and so did both our looks." He said coming over sitting next to me. "What do you feel?" I asked him. "I feel confused, lost and empty. I didn't feel anything before you got here and now I've felt so many different things and I don't like that it makes me feel not in control." He said. "I feel Lost and empty. I'm not sure what is waiting for me where I came from but I started to understand you but yesterday even something happened and I'm not sure what." I said not meeting his eyes. "I think me seeing my marking on you hit a nerve and not one I wanted hit.' He said. "Well you don't have to worry about that now there not on me anymore." I said. "What?" He said reaching for my sweater. I didn't stop him as he softly lifted the back of it up showing my blank skin to him. "I think the gods are torturing me." He said letting my sweater go. "Why?" I asked. "They don't want me happy." He said. "It isn't up to them to decide." I said. "But wait. Are you saying you were happy before yesterday evening?" I asked. I watched his face and he didn't show anything. "I was starting to feel happy. I guess that's what it was I'm not sure. When I tell you that you look beautiful I get this feeling it's like a spark inside my chest it's trying to ignite." He said. "I think your emotions are trying to come back to life. Maybe I was sent here not for me but for you. Maybe I was sent to help you feel to open up some hidden dark place inside you to let light shine." I said. As I spoke this I started to feel a warm tingle in my body. "Aries your hair. Its changing colors its turning Red." He said sticking his hand out touching it. I meet his eyes and his eyes had changed they were golden but with some crazy hint of aqua. "Your eyes have changed Lord Junsu. They're very beautiful." I said touching his face. He was shocked at my touch and stood up. I hurried to change topics. "So that robot head yesterday was that something of yours?" I asked. "I figured it would help I made a few to help protect people but they didn't want something that could turn on them they all said. I refused to listen and told them all they were there to stay. The robot head you saw was from one in the village of the masked men. Some children were playing and they began to fight and it saw this thinking that the one child was going to kill the other one by choking him. So he went to save the boy and killed the other one." Said Junsu. "You didn't think that through did you?" I asked. "I knew what I wanted and how it was to work and it did." He yelled. I stood up in front of him. "How can you even think like that? That was a child who died. You should have programmed it better to think like us not like a robot to know when to not kill but to help there is a difference Lord Junsu a difference." I said. "How can you tell me I'm wrong?" He said. "Because were human we all are allowed to make mistakes even a ruler. Do you not understand this you can fail and it will be alright. You just have to get back up and try again." I said. He wasn't looking at me but I could see his anger. "You come into my home and tell me I'm wrong saying I'm not a worthy ruler of my people." He yelled now grabbing me and slamming me into the bookshelf. "I could kill you for that because you think less of me. I could have your head." He said in my face. "Then do it because what life do I have. I don't know where I'm from and I know it's not here so what do I have nothing. There is no one here for me so it wouldn't matter if you did kill me. You might just be doing me a favor." I said feeling the tears fall. He just shoved me then left without another word. I just slide down the bookcase in tears. I pulled my knees to my chest crying. I had no idea what my life was meant for I was far beyond lost. I must have sat there crying for a while because a wet tongue touched my fingers. I looked up to see Kai there waiting on me. He knew something was wrong so he laid at my feet wining. I reach out to him and ran my fingers across his fur. "You know nothing of the lost and loneliness or being alone to have no one to comfort you when you most need it." I said to him. I got up and picked him up walking back to my room. The blue flowers were dead and black just how I felt. I crawled up in the bed with Kai just looking out into the dark lightening filled sky. The place really did fit how I felt.