Chris seemed sympathetic towards the situation. He didn't say anything discouraging like "it was bound to happen sometime" or "oh well."
I sighed and prepared to take a shower. I didn't wanna smell like sex and Chris when I went to Tyga's house to apologize.
"Will you stay till I come back?" I asked as I climbed out of bed.
He didn't hesitate. "You sure you don't want me to come with you? I don't want you to drive while you're vulnerable."
"Tyga's house isnt that far. I'll be back in like twenty minutes."
"A lot can happen in twenty minutes, Kim."
I got into his lap and kissed him hard on his lips. "If I'm gonna be rejected, I wanna do it alone. He's probably freaking out. I have to see him before he does something to hurt himself."
He kissed me back.
"This isn't your fault, ok?" he tried to comfort me. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes, it is."
He didnt respond so I got out of his lap and made my way to the bathroom to reluctantly wash him off of me.
The water burned my skin and I didn't even flinch. The only thing I could think about how amazing my night was and how terrible this morning would be. Tonight was prom, too. Tyga had it bad for me. He must be really embarrassed.
After I turned the water off, I brushed my teeth and brushed out my hair. Wrapped in my towel, I snuck into my mother's room.
She was fast asleep, her head buried into the pillow, snoring. I opened her medicine cabinet and took one pill from the box. I rushed out and used tap water to flush the pill down my system.
Chris was fully dressed when I came back into my room.
"Good luck," he snorted when I finished getting dressed.
I ignored his sarcasm and left for Tyga's , thinking the whole car ride over about how much heartbreak I had caused.
His mom answered the door.
"Oh, Kim! Hi, sweetie!" she embraced me and shook me up a little.
"Hey, Ms. Stevenson. Is, um...Ty home?" I asked her when she let me go.
"Yes, of course. Go right up and see him." She gestured me inside and I smiled politely as I passed her.
Ms. Stevenson was always a nice woman. She seemed to like me but I highly doubt she would after today. Tyga was a complete momma's boy ever since his dad left.
Ty's bedroom was at the end of the hall upstairs. He usually had pictures of us on his bedroom door but all that was there was white paint and rips of paper. The floor in front of his door was covered with torn and ripped up pictures of mostly me and some of him. I inhaled nervously and knocked.
"Mom, I already told you I'm not-" he began when the door swumg open but stopped short when he saw me. Before I could speak, I no longer saw his face but the white of his door.
I rolled my eyes. "Real mature, Ty." I hissed.
"What do you want?" he replied nastily.
"To talk."
"I wanted to talk three days ago."
I gave him that one. "True, but please just open the door."
"Why? I'm just gonna end up slamming it in your face again."
I wanted to kick the door down. But I didn't have the nerve or leg power to do so. So I begin to beg.
"Micheal..." No answer, I thought he'll think I'd be more serious. A pout began to form across my face.
"TyTy?" I used the old nickname I had for him. I haven't called him that since we were juniors. After a few moments of silence, I heard him sigh and he unlocked the door. He opened it and groaned.
When I entered, his room was a mess. Usually I could see Tyga's floor but right now I was afraid I was gonna step on something valuable.
"So..." He extended the word out.
"I came here to-" I began but he put his finger over my mouth.
"Did he slip you something?"
"What?" I asked him and looked at him as if he were crazy.
"Did he drug you?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No..."
He pulled his finger away and closed his eyes. His fist tightened, his knuckles getting whiter. "You guys fucked..."
I nodded.
"And you did it willingly?"
I nodded again, ashamed.
He was doing his best to keep breaking down. The hurt I saw last night was deep in his eyes. I cringed inside knowing I caused that pain. He looked sick.
"Why do I have the feeling this isn't the first time you guys have done this?"
I didn't answer.
"He took your virginity, didn't he?" He asked and sat on his bed.
"Ty-" I tried to apologize.
"I knew it! All this time, I knew something was up! I didn't wanna believe it but..." he trailed off, head in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Ty. But if you wanna blame someone, blame me. None of this is Chris' fault."
"To hell with Chris. I've had it with Brown! He acts like he owns the fucking world! He did this just to irk me, I swear he did!"
That last statement struck me by surprise. "So you're saying Chris only came onto me cus I was your girlfriend? Are you saying I couldnt have gotten Chris any other way?"
"I'm saying that this is probably just a scheme to take me away from you. I know him well enough," he growled and had fiery in his brown eyes.
"You dont know him at all," I protested. He looked at me as if I were crazy. Which I probably was.
"He's not playing a game, Tyga. From your point of view, it was just a fuck. But Chris does actually have feelings for me. He asked me to prom. He dumped Karrueche for me, for Christ's sake! None of this is about you! I know I should've broken up with you first before I let it get to here but I just couldn't, ok? I love you, Ty. I didn't want to let you go or hurt you. I'm really sorry it's just that..." I couldn't finish.
He was silent for a minute. He stepped closer and closer to me. I was backed into the wall and his hot breath was invading my senses. He put his index finger through a belt loop and sighed.
His voice was low as he spoke. "I would've done anything to just be inside you. I wanted us to experience it...together. I wanted us to feel each other. I wanted to make you scream my name."
"He could have any girl his little heart desired. Why did he have to take you?" he was mumbling. His voice was muffled as if he would begin to cry. His hand crept lower. I didn't resist as he undid the button and zipper.
His hand found it's way into my underwear. He looked up at me as he put one finger into my aching yet wet and yearning heat. I bit my lip to keep from moaning.
It felt so unfamiliar when Tyga did this. His hands were newer than Chris'. I felt pure and holy with Ty.
