As much as I burned for there to be an us, my mind always jerked back to Tyga. I loved him, I really did but whenever
Chris came around I felt...different. Like a new girl. I usually didn't like change but being a different girl seemed like a nice thought.
Tyga had given me some of the best years of my life. Did I really wanna give those years up cause of Chris?
No, I didnt.
Tyga was my everything and this whole arrangement wasnt fair to him. Ty has been getting played.
Ever since me and Chris' first kiss. Tyga was my boyfriend, not Chris. I had to wake up and realize that. The sooner I did, the better.
But Chris was so...
I couldn't even describe it.
I loved being with him. His whole presence was such a rush for me.
His smile, his touch...I even found his matted looking, surprisingly soft curls a blessing.
But did I love him like I did Tyga.
Chris opened my eyes to some interesting things but did I wanna die for him? Would I get up every morning and make him breakfast? Was he marriage material?
Ty was. Most definitely. I'd die for him. I'd get up in the morning to make him breakfast.
Maybe my little fling with Chris was just butterflies I haven't felt in a while with Tyga. Maybe Chris was my teenage release of hormones and confused, mixed feelings and emotions. Maybe Chris was just...a crush?
"Chris," I started. He closed his eyes and felt my breath on his face.
"Yes, beautiful?"
I sighed, knowing I was about to break his heart.
But I couldn't.
I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks already.
After swallowing, I exhaled.
"Nothing," I said.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Absolutely nothing."
He took my naked body into his arms to cuddle and I couldn't help but hold back tears of guilt. I made sure this time he couldn't hear me.
...
When I looked to my right this morning, I expected there to be an empty space with messy sheets. I expected there to be a note saying he had to run off to practice.
My heart stopped mid-beat when I saw him there, eyes on me and an adoring smile on his face.
"Morning," he greeted.
I arched my eyebrows in confusion. "Shouldn't you be at practice?"
He nodded but still made no attempt to get dressed. Why would he stay?
"You stayed," I announced. He nodded again.
"Why?"
He shrugged. "Cause I'd much rather be here with the beautiful Kim Hernandez than running around a field with a bunch of hormonal, sweaty football players."
I chuckled. "I don't wanna get you in trouble."
He shrugged again. "Each player on the team is allowed to miss two practices. I'm fine."
I smiled at the thought of Chris missing a practice on purpose just to hang out with me. I loved the thought actually but I had to go to the practice anyway.
