Locker Boy 27

Go away..

A/N Listen to Hospital for Souls by Bring Me the Horizon for this chapter

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As they rush me to the hospital I cry, I keep playing the crash over and over again. They can't be gone....No this can't be real. I cry more as they put the mask over to help me breath better. They rush me to the ER. 

I black out for a little..Darkness is all I see and feel. This is your fault Kayden If you were the one driving this wouldn't have happen. If you didn't say yes to Tyler you wouldn't be heartbroken. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why did I have to lose them? I'm so fucking stupid thinking this year would be better then last year. Then I start to hear people cry my name. I slowly open my eyes to see Kamila, Devyn, Dylan, and fucking Tyler crying. I smile at the 3 but don't dare look at Tyler. "D-devyn? K-kamila? A-are you g-guys a-a-alive?" I feel tears creep into the corners of my eyes. They nod while they hold my hand. Kamila starts to apologize "Kayden this is all my fucking fault I shouldn't have had that stupid party" Her and Devyn start to bust into more and more tears. "Devyn....Kamila....Dylan...are they really.." I can't finish my sentence as I feel tears go down my cheeks. They remain quiet then Dylan speaks up, "Kayden....I'm sorry but they are gone.." After hearing that Devyn, Kamila and me bust down crying even more. Dylan gets up and brings us tissues, while Tyler just sits there in silence. Dylan hugs us all then leaves so he can take Amanda and Faith home. "Dylan...please be careful" I plead him "Kayden I'll be okay but get better please" He looks at Tyler with disgust then leaves.

"What do you want..?" I look at Tyler dead in the eyes while I hold Kam's and Devyn's hand. "What do you want? Where is Connie? The one you fucked last night?" My friends eyes widen then look at both of us. "Look Kayden let me explain please... I-" I stop him right in his tracks. "No don't give me a fucking excuse, why? I trusted you....You don't fucking care about...you probably just wanted me for sex...You know what? Fuck you Tyler. Never speak to me because it's clear you like Connie and not me." Tears start to go down my cheek "I  actually liked you.. but fuck my feelings right??" I tighten my grip on Devyn and Kamila then laugh a little. "Two of my only friends fucking died cause of me. They died right before my fucking eyes, do you really think that after all that I'll just forgive you???? Fuck no...." I see a few tears go down his cheek.

Don't fucking act like you care you son of a bitch. "Kayden I thought Connie was you I swear I was drunk please Kay-" I start to laugh more while tears flow down my face faster. "Go away Tyler and never talk to me again. I don't know why I actually trusted you, get out of my room now please" Tyler looks like he just had his heart broken. He stand up then walks towards the door then looks at me one for time with pleading eyes, I look at him with hateful eyes and he leaves. After he leaves I lose it and start to cry while my only friends left hold me. 

Kayden you're so fucking stupid.

I'm the reason they died.

I look down at my arms to see all the cuts. 

Why didn't I die? I feel tears come again. Why did it have to be them? Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die...those two didn't want to die yet.....I want to curl up in a corner and pray death comes over me. I start to think of Tyler a little, then explain to Kam and Devyn what happened at the party. They have their eyes widen while they look at me, they end up hugging me while I cry into their shoulders. God Damnit I hate feeling like this again. 

I soon start to feel a little tired, "guys...I'm gonna go to sleep for a little okay..?" They both nod "We are going to the hotel to get ALL of our stuff...including their's.." They hug me then leave, I'm left alone once again then soon I fall asleep.