Locker Boy 27

L.T.F.Y.B

After Tyler drops me off at home I miss the rest of the school day, when it hits 3 I text Kam and Devyn.

Me: Guys...wanna see squad?

Kam Impossible: You sure you are ready to go Kayden..?

Dev(IL)yn: I'm up for it and I'll buy flowers for them </3 

Me: Yeah...I'm ready...when do you guys wanna go?

Kam Impossible: Around 6? I hve to babysit my 5 siblings -_- n I'll pick you both up.

Dev(IL)yn: Okay, hopefully it won't rain thoooooo It looks cloudy outside

Me: I'll bring my hoodie just in case.....So guys Do you think things will be different now that they are......... you know...

Dev(IL)yn: ....

Kam Impossible: ....Idk Kayden....

Me:...I'll text you guys later....I'm gonna nap for a little. 

I shut off my phone to let it charge then falls asleep. I start to just dream about all the good times we had as a Squad. I dream about all the times we went to movies and how Kam almost got us kicked out. Or how Angela gave her phone to Kam so she could run to go get the pokestops. I dream about another memorie, this one is when we first had a sleepover. I peed myself right before I got to the bathroom door. They all made me laugh so hard from playing hide and go seek in the dark that I peed myself! We did the cinnamon challenge and a food spin the bottle. My dream changes and goes to where we all went swimming, Kamila was holding on for dear life just like me since we can't swim. We go towards the deep end for the lake while Kamila is praying she doesn't fall off the little floating board. The dream changes again, It's for Kam's quinceañera when we all danced the night away not caring what anyone thought of us, while Kam was struggling in her puffy ass dress we all laughed at her but helped. The dream changed again as I realize it's the day we all were at the beach. Just being Teens, having fun for fall break, spending time with the friends they love and care about....next thing I know my dream goes to where I saw Maci and Angela but this time Devyn and Kam die too.

Devyn has a cut going down her stomach, Angela is bleeding from her mouth while her hand is cut off and blood is spraying all over me. Maci has a leg missing while she is bleeding from her head..Kamila's body is stuck in between the seat and wheel...her neck is sliced open while her head dangles and blood comes out of her eyes, mouth and nose. I start to scream and cry, wanting to wake up from this nightmare. Finally I wake up screaming a little, I look around trying to see If I was really awake.

I sigh knowing the nightmare is over, I get up to get ready to see my 2..dead friends. I just throw on my BMTH hoodie the check the time then notice I have a message. 

Kam impossible: I'm here Fam

I sigh the walk outside to see Devyn and Kam waiting inside the black jeep, I get into the jeep. Devyn plays some music I love to cheer me up. I only sigh remembering that Maci and Angela also loved this music. Devyn plays one song that cheers up the mood and I softly hum to the music while her and kam scream out to the song. I laugh a little the notice it start to rain. "Damnit it's raining" I say as I sigh. We pull up to the cemetery while it's light rain. I grab the flowers while they get out. We pull or hoods up and start to walk towards their graves... 

When they were being buried I didn't go, it was too much for me to handle. After two weeks of not showing up I visit their graves. They are buried right besides each other, I place the flowers on both their graves. "Kayden...look at the engravings in the back" I look at Kam then go to look at the back of their graves. I feel tears going down my cheek as I read Angela's then Maci's engravings. The rain starts to pour and I fall on my knees reading them over and over.

On Angela's grave it wrote "L.T.F.Y.B was my second family...I love them so much and I'm smiling down at my bitches right now, I love you hoes."

On Maci's it wrote "Day by day life will go on without me but keep your heads up you dumbasses, don't cry that I'm gone but smile that you have memories with me. To L.T.F.Y.B, stay idiots for me though I may be gone push through it all for me and Angela. I love you guys, you will always be my family." 

I lose it and bust out crying while the rain pours down on me. Devyn comforts me while Kam put an umbrella over my head so my hoodie doesn't get anymore wet. I  cry more and more wishing that they were still here smiling and making stupid jokes to make us smile. We get back in the jeep to drive home, the only thing you hear is silence while I still feel tears go down my face while I smile to try to stop the tears. 

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"Suicide doesn't end the changes of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"