$49 Ticket to Oregon

Pacing

I paced next to the fence, thinking. Kali's trip. New laptop. Most importantly, a trip to Oregon. Why Oregon? I'll tell you why Oregon. Oregon was the place that she was, but neither of us wanted to be. No, she wasn't my love, or something like that, she was my best friend. The best friend that was my only friend in the lonely gifted program with uneven representation. The best friend that would sit and giggle with me under the curled branches of the squat palm tree on the playground. The best friend that ate ice cream with me under a sagging piece of cloth tied up with twine, sitting on a piece of wood, cooled only by a house fan that was power by an outlet about 5 extension cords away. She was the friend.

Her name was Madison.

No, she did not die, although it feels that way. She moved. Twice. First, it wasn't so big a deal. Moving a city away isn't too far, we regularly had events that required driving to the other's city, we saw each other quite often.

Then she moved to Oregon.

Oregon is not a bad place, its quite beautiful in some areas actually, but the problem was, it was not where I was. It was not an hour's drive away, not even a six hour drive away. Three states, between me and the friend. After she left, that lonely gifted program felt even lonelier. I was the odd one out, the only one that didn't already have a best friend, a perfectly fitting circle of friends. I just had Madi. But I didn't anymore. I used to be very social, I had no problems making friends. Now was different. Now, I had become so pampered by the fact that I just had friends that I had no idea how to create new ones. It took me weeks to work up the courage to ask the boys to play football with them, and it turned out I didn't need any courage at all. They easily threw a "yeah, sure" in my direction and I was in the circle of "jocks". I ate with them at lunch, I played ball with them outside, I sat with them inside. But I was still the odd one out. I always felt uncomfortable, like I didn't quite fit. I suppose I fit better than I thought, but I was still struggling with the loss of my best friend. Now, there is no more gifted program. But there's still no Madi.

Pacing. Thinking. Avoiding decision.

Kali. The girl with the horrible back story and financial troubles. Her family was definitely not the most stable one. Biological father was abusive, left, and pursued in court. Step- father is distant, jokingly bitter, but definitely an improvement. Mother is supportive at arm's length and craving another child. Sister is depressed, sweet, younger, but intent on "winning" her and Kali's intense sibling rivalry. All living under one roof that doesn't belong to them. Like I said, not the most stable family. The previous year Kali didn't get to go on the trip to Catalina Island, California, some of the best four days of my life, if the not the best. I wanted her to experience that too, but like all things good, it cost money.

Pacing. Thinking. Avoiding decision.

Finally, my laptop. This seemed to be at the bottom of the priority list for me, but the at the top of my mom's. Overbearing and animated. The first two words that come to mind when I thought of my mother. I would ride my skateboard miles away from home to get away from the house's tension. Sure, she had her moments, like the little rewards for a hard earned 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance, acceptance into the National Junior Honor Society at 12, things like that. She wanted me to get into a good college, do amazing in school and sports, change the world. Be the perfect daughter. This laptop would theoretically enable me to do that. The problem was, it was $800 and I needed to save up half in 4 months.

Pacing. Thinking. Coming to a decision.

Top of the list: Oregon.

Next on the list: Kali.

Bottom of the list: Laptop.

Time to tell the overbearing animated commander.