"Dan," poke, "Hey. Hey Dan," poke poke, "Daaaaan!"
"What?" He seemed annoyed, and I grinned, "Ross, stop, please. I'm driving."
We were driving home from a carnival of sorts, and although we had fun, the ride there and back was long, so I decided to amuse myself at Dan's expense.
"Dan. Danny. Dan. Daniel. Dan. Danny," I continued, poking him every time I said his name.
"What do you want?" Dan's voice sounded like he was holding back anger with an emotionless facade.
"I want you to love me!"
"I do love you, Ross. I tell you every night," he reminded me, smiling a slight bit, probably to hold back rage.
"Dan. Danny. Dan," I kept poking him in the shoulder, "I love you, Dan."
"I love you, too, but please knock it off," he sighed agitatedly, "You're really testing my patience."
"But Daaaan!" I grinned, "I don't wanna knock it off!"
"Please," Dan grumbled.
"Dan. Danny. Are we there yet?" I asked, knowing the annoyance this question usually caused.
"Does it look like it?" Dan spoke. He was surprisingly patient today.
"I don't know! Are we there now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No, Ross! Shut up," and now he sounded mad.
"Dan," I whined, "Are we home yet?" I smiled uncontrollably.
"Ross." Fuck, I'm in trouble, "Shut up. I don't want to deal with your shit right now."
I laughed, and paused before saying, "But are we there yet?"
"FUCK OFF, ROSS!" He yelled. I hadn't seen him this angry in a while, "I just treated you to a fun time. I should expect this from you."
I messed up, and I knew it. I felt genuinely scared, and sick to my stomach, "I'm sorry," I mumbled, and stayed silent the whole rest of the way back. I felt tears well up in my eyes, and try to blink them back. I was the one that caused the problem, so I didn't deserve to cry now.
Dan didn't talk to me once for the entire ride, but I assumed that he was really pissed. We stopped, and I looked up, my vision blurred by tears. We were home, as I thought. Dan got out of the car without a word. He seemed in a hurry to get away from me.
I stepped into the house after a few moments where I tried to calm myself down. It's okay. It'll only be tonight. ... Right?
I went to the bed, as it was relatively late, and I felt terrible, but Dan was already there, laying down, his eyes closed. I flinched at the sight of him, and hoped that he wasn't too upset with me. I went to sleep on the couch. It's not the most comfortable for sleeping, but I'm certain Dan doesn't want me in his sight.
I closed my eyes, but as soon as I did, I started to cry. I didn't fight it anymore. I buried my head within a couch cushion, trying in vain to stifle my sobs. I uncontrollably made sounds, and just hoped for Dan to be asleep.
I heard footsteps. I curled myself into a ball, my face in my legs for me to hide. I made myself choke on cries so Dan didn't hear me. I felt the couch shift around me, and I made myself smaller, holding myself together tightly. I felt myself being picked up carefully, cradled in loving arms. I was turned upright, and I tried to make myself look as if I was asleep. I loosened my grip on myself, and my face accidentally showed in the process.
"Oh, Ross," I heard Dan's voice. He sounded so worried, and almost weak and fragile, "Ross, I'm sorry, baby," Dan pulled me closer towards him, until our faces were so close together, "Look," he whispered calmingly, "I fucked up. I'm sorry. I love you," he paused, "You're asleep, huh? I'm sorry you didn't get to hear me say how much I loved you."
I sniffled, and snuggled closer to him, resting my head on him. I started to cry all over again, and I sobbed, "I'm sorry! Dan, I'm so sorry that I'm so bad to you and you're so nice to me!"
He seemed taken aback, and nervous, "Ross, that's not it at all! I was tired, and I wasn't thinking straight. It's all my fault!" I quickly and nervously glanced up at Dan. He, too, was crying.
"Stop! I'm just so- I-" I held him tight, "Why are you so nice to me all the time? I don't deserve you."
"Ross. Would I be with you if I didn't like you?"
"Yes," I nodded, and started to explain, "You just feel bad for me."
"No. That's not it at all. I promise you that I love you dearly. Come on, you know that. I tell you every day," he pointed out.
"I'm so bad, and you're so good, and you're- you deserve better than me," I cried, clinging onto him, hoping that Dan wouldn't make me let go.
"I love you so much, Ross. You might not know, but-"
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why me? Why not anyone else? I'm not special. Anyone else would be better than me. Especially for someone like you."
"Ross, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're the one I love because you're- I love you because- uh..." Dan was struggling.
"I know, Dan. It's tough to think about things that aren't there."
"Can't you just accept the fact that I love you?" Dan sighed exhaustedly.
"I- I don't know."
"Ross," Dan spoke firmly, "I love you because you're you. There's nobody quite like you in this world. Alright?"
"Okay," I wiped away my tears, "I guess," I added in sarcastically, smiling a bit.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
