content warning for child abuse
***
TWO DAYS LATER, Hadley sees it.
What surprises him isn't the sheer inconceivability of this thing—whatever it is—but the timing of it.
Here he is, on Sebastian's couch, in earnest conversation with a girl he couldn't take his eyes off and this thing has the gall to show up right in his field of vision.
It's indescribable. A real-life paradox: it's real and unreal; it's a flickering presence and it's as concrete as a building. Is it a ghost? No, not a ghost. A monster he can't make sense of. No matter how hard he stares at it, he can't even begin to tell what it is. He hates it. He hates how it's right before his eyes and he still can't see it, he hates how he can't hear anything but the sound of his own pulse in his ears, he hates how afraid he is.
Hadley wishes he could do more than just clutch his beer can to his heart.
The shadowy thing mirrors his action. Hadley feels off-balance, like the world is at an angle at odds with him. He feels like he could combust at any second.
He feels something grip his arm and for a wild moment, he thinks it might be the thing grabbing him with a phantom limb (a phantom with a phantom limb?). But no. It's the girl.
The girl—he hates himself for not remembering her name but how can he when there's a literal demon right across him?—asks him, "Are you alright?"
No. "Yeah," Hadley says. "I'm fine. Just feeling a little weird."
"You're sure?"
Hadley can't help but imagine what he'd do if he wasn't Hadley. Maybe he'd grab the girl by the shoulders and say, no, I'm not feeling okay and don't look now but there's something sitting across us and I can't tell you what it is because it doesn't make sense to me.
But Hadley's just Hadley, so he looks the girl right back into her eyes, ignoring the way the thing—he can't think of anything else to call it—creeps into the corner of his vision, refusing to leave him.
Of course the girl can't see it. Of course, only Hadley can. Of course.
"I'm fine," he says. "So, you were saying?"
The thing is undulating. It swells and it deflates. It's shaped like a person. It's shaped like a thing.
When Hadley moves, so does it. Is it making fun of him? He raises his left arm. The thing raises what might be its left arm.
"I said, I like your necklace," the girl says, "and if you're going to ignore me, at least be subtle about it."
The thing waves at Hadley. Hadley doesn't move.
"Like, are you even listening to me right now?"
The thing gets up from the couch and moves towards Hadley. His breath freezes in his throat. He can't move. His vision darkens.
"Hey, are you listening?"
The thing is a foot away from him, now. His chest is squeezing his heart, like he might collapse in on himself at any second.
"Shit, are you alright? Are you having a panic attack or something?"
She grips his arm again and Hadley looks at her and the thing disappears. Just like that.
"I'll ask you again: are you okay?" There's actual worry in her voice, and Hadley almost feels guilty for lying.
"I'm fine. I just thought I saw something." He doesn't want to be here anymore.
