Everything Done In The Dark Is Coming To The Light. (The Beginning)

" Mother's love & A Daughter's Regrets"

Not too long after he left I called my bro Lil R3D and decided to cop some bud off of him. I needed to get relaxed, I started a bubble bath and grabbed some of the canned margaritas from the fridge. "Shit I need a roll up." I called my nigga Mariah and told her to bring me a roll up. In span of 10 minutes she brought it, and I invited more heads over.

Me- Riah, hold it down while I go shower.

Mariah- Gotchu'
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I took a quick shower and began to enjoy my night, I couldn't help but to think about everything. I could tell anyone in a heartbeat I can't stand fighting, I really hate it. But the way people giving it up nowadays that's all you can do so to survive these streets. My momma warned me about this from the jump, and I just took it as her nagging me to death. " I'm fucking hard headed son, I should've listened. But I mean I'm young I gotta keep falling until I get my shit together. Right?" While everyone around me was happy and shit,  I was the only serious one. I called my mom I had to talk to her because I felt as if this was the right thing for me to do. I ended the little gathering early and everyone understood that I needed this time to get situated. My mom finally answered and I didn't know what to say to her at first. Her motherly instinct kicked in and she knew what was wrong.

Ma-  What's on your mind Brittany? Don't say nothing because I know that there is something wrong with you.

Me- Everything is wrong. I'm a seventeen year old catastrophe! I mean I know the streets are crazy and that people are willing to kill your ass in a millisecond , but becoming a hit girl isn't what I wanna be mom. I'm glad I'm done with school and shit but I could've sworn that the drama would end already !  I'm getting too old for this shit. Mom what am I supposed to do?

Ma-  You wanted to play Brittany bad-ass right? Well there goes the consequences, but I can tell you that you gotta resolve this shit ASAP. I want no cops coming to my door looking for your crazy ass okay. I mean what do I explain to your brother & sister when they say " Mommy why is Brittany on america's most wanted?"  (We both began to laugh.)

Me- True. I don't need that on my conscious this whole entire time. I don't want the colleges that I applied to say "OMG" because I am a criminal. I have a clean record with the feds! I'm gonna fix this shit, even if my life depends on it Ma.

Ma- Alright, how's the apartment?

Me- Ehh. It's alright I guess, I miss it at home already. I still feel like I'm living with you though, Eric reminds me of you and its fucking creepy. It's basically a male version of you walking around my house. But I'm gonna come and visit one of these days, I'm gonna k.o mom. I love you and I'm so glad we had this talk. 

Ma-  Goodnight, try to stay out of drama.

I was happy to have that talk with my momma, I needed that. I wouldn't have been able to get this across to someone without being judged or the person would be beating around the bush for a response. I turned on pandora, and got ready for bed I couldn't wait to see what god had in store for me tomorrow. It took me a few minutes to fall asleep so I said a prayer.

Me-  I know I done many sinful things, and thought that they was the right thing to do. But now I lay here asking for forgiveness and for you to show me the right of way. There's so many things that I regret doing , but in my eyes believe that the person deserves it. I currently live with a guy who expects the best for me, and that wants me for me. But yet I am crushing on someone who is in a beautiful relationship. Yeah, I'm in deep shit right god? Please show me the right of way, because if I attempt to figure it out on my own I will mess up once again. 
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I woke up and instantly thought about my momma. I fucking love this lady, I'll kill for her. I swear to god ima do right from now on. I turned on my phone to see I had missed calls and texts, none of them looked important until one read "My nigga its Mmachi, call me when you get this." Oh shit I thought shorty forgot about my ass, Wait or wasn't it the other way around?  Let me get myself together before I start going crazy. I wanted to just go for a walk, I havent heard from Eric yet so I called him. 

* Ring Ring Ring *

Voicemail - You have reached the voicemail box of Eric. I can't take your call right now so please leave a message after the beep