Inevitable Flaw

Chapter 38: Orientation

The carvings around my neck and face have tamed, singing in a dimmer light. The tenderness has yet to weaken. I conceal all the bruises anyway.

My adorned misery needn't belong to the public.

And yet it will. I stare in disgust at the white bandage; an arousal of curiosity; pool of pity.

It's just not fair.

I bathe in the inevitable with sour agony before proceeding to the cooling oatmeal.

My eyes sit dazing out the window with hyperactive nerves ogling me. Unfortunately, they absorb the stethoscope fashioned on my book case.

You will always have my heart.

I imprison the empty space in my chest from freeing; the pain still remnants, even if an artificial faint. It's my traveler.

A forced acquaintance at my hip.

I step over the massive gift basket to study my outfit. It is mandated with maturity; a day of first impressions.

After inhaling my bottled anxiety, I stroll towards my car. The weather is an expressing hue of silky warmth; it smears a friendly grip on my ached arm. I struggle with my one hand and the global positioning system nagging my brain. 

At a three second pace, I am overwhelmed before a massive building of glass. It taunts me as I gulp in its obvious beauty, my eyes glinting intimately.

8:00 a.m.

I map the interior of the university, the immense size enhancing my restless fingers. I am too early; the echoing silence rich in company. My eyes attempt to digest the overpowering altitude of the ceilings, the infinite stairs. It all deems alien.

"Freshman," a voice incredulously thick yet so foreign invades my preoccupancy.

I rotate towards a man of exceptional height, his aquamarine crystal hues of irises startling me. His smile is impeccably radiant, a novelty for many at this hour. I eye his charcoal hair before befriending his shoes.

"You alright?" I follow his perspective stuttering at my arm.

"I fell," a nervous shrug.

Lie.

An understanding nod, no humor printed anywhere; strangely comforting.

"Noah," he clears a throat. The huge white marbled smile reappears.

I just sprout an invisible smile, his face of expectance instilling a frown.

"And you are?"

A second of hesitance and he hastes backwards, not probing much more.

"I will see you, no name," a boyish grin and he's running towards a crowd that groggily appears.

I transition swiftly from his humour to wallow at the entering population with heat in my cheeks. The angst swims to my stomach. 

So many strangers.

I drag my whimpering feet near the line accommodating the first alphabet of my last name. Everyone's nerves collide around me, the energy almost toxic to my already traumatized state of mind. The stuffed air thick of excess heat further sparks my discomfort.

"Enjoy your first day!" the contagious optimism from the student volunteer performs its effect. I relish in her smile before happily taking my information guide. 

I follow my last name to a large group of students. The clump grows with overwhelming volume, all eyes supposedly nurturing on my narcissistic cast. I play with my fingers while sympathizing with anxious eyes, the silence speaking volumes.

Eventually, I brave a wide ranged observation over the mass of humans in search of Adam; only to find him nowhere. 

He's skived; this hope desperate from the other possibilities.

"We will be your tour guides for the day," Noah. I start spinning in escalating nerves the second he flaunts a glance at me.

We initiate the day with a horrid ice break, my ears burning instantly.

"No name," he breaths a grin when it's my turn; soft cerulean eyes brighter than the lightest of skies. 

I stutter my words through, cheeks an extraordinary shade as all faces throw kindness at me. Noah's face of complete enthralment intimidates me the most.

The why of this a subtle mystery.

"This is my junior year as a bioscience major. I am vice president of the student's association here and contribute to an embarrassing amount of clubs. It is an absolute honour to have been nominated for this position, I hope I can make this school year of great convenience for you," I absorb in every inch of Noah's ripe words, each one hypnotizingly inspiring. 

I attempt to ignore his expression of comicality as I concentrate on the other speeches, but the overwhelming attention fosters the baby hairs on my nape. 

It's all suspiciously peculiar.

We are then toddled around the endless campus, my body immersed in worry from Noah's purposeful closeness.

"So, what will you be majoring in?" He inquires as everyone is left to explore the main hall, his abrupt appearance alarming me.

"Health science," I gulp the midst of cologne he clogs around.

"Interesting," he nods, a fading dimple materializing.

"What do you see yourself doing in ten years?" I'm walking away in brink of hitched breaths as he proceeds with the interrogation.

The friendliness precipitously becomes of fright to me.

"Doctor Residency," I whisper under my breath, looking around for anyone to excuse myself for.

"As do I," he stands before me, the little lines beside his large eyes pirouetting to his grin of satisfaction.

"You are trying for med school?" I ask, distractingly viewing some unique art.

"Yes."

But the silence never comes.

"What about this university intrigued your choice?" He leans against the wall to my right, his hands circling around our surrounding.

Too many questions, this one being a stab.

Maybe it's his pure gentility or his facial expression of placidity that nudges my retreat.

"My father, he used to go here," I disregard the sudden holes in my gut.

Following the exposure, guilt overrides in equality to the vulnerability that spills beyond the glass.

"What's his profession, if you don't mind me asking?" he inquires following an impressed face.

"He used to be a lawyer, the best there was," I smile, the pain rushing back with greed.

"He's retired now?"

And my eyes mist.

"He- uhm- passed away recently," I exhale in the speed of light, begging the tears not to travel.

"I am so sorry." His shoulders slump as he elevates off the wall.

A nod as I bite viciously into my cheeks.

Stay strong.

"Let's head to the cafeteria," I flinch when the ginger headed Mathew roars through.

I quietly pace away from Noah's troubled expression, regretting everything I voiced. My pity party is now at its phase of birth; a despised child.

I mesmerize over the bulk of this university; the infinite cafeteria, beautifully stocked spatial library, numerous lecture halls, study spaces, ridiculously large bathrooms, nap areas, the multiple fitness rooms. 

It never ends.

For the remaining hours, the distance grows thick with Noah; this act slightly reassuring.

Our group parts with smiles and good vibes in the middle of the breathtaking garden of water fountains and flowers.

"I will see you around Aamirah," Noah displays a careful grin.

I return the smile, my hands awkward as I wave. 

My feet walk to the car with loneliness in its steps; the pessimism from my father's end painting me whole.

12:00 p.m.

I decide to grab some groceries from a nearby food mart, arriving home with some comfort food. After explaining the happenings of the day to mama in redundant detail, I initiate first year's lunch in my apartment with microwaved ramen.

When boredom trembles at my senses, I walk among the falling sun.

The birds scavenge the tranquility lost to the busy streets. I stroll until my soles ache, returning to the little white complex in the vast of the moon. 

A startle awakens me. 

By the stairs, a figure leans. His finger murders a cigarette, hood ceiling the entirety of his face.

Stay away from him.

And still, I proceed, my heart exploding with each nearness.

"Adam?" I whisper.

A curious expressed individual turns towards me as I gawk wide eyed, instantly apologizing with a bleeding smile.

It's not him.

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A/N-

Hesitant about a potential Adam's POV. Stay tuned!