Second chances

Part 2

After about an hour (though it was impossible to tell, sensory deprivation will do that to you), I said "Fuck, fine, I'll accept your deal." No response. I waited for a minute. No response. Then, I was in a chair in my apartment, the day of the accident. It was a gray chair with metal legs, about 3 years old. I remember sitting here before going to get more milk from the supermarket. On the way, well, you know the rest. I stood up cautiously, my legs quivering. This was real. This was happening, I was more anxious than I'd even been in my life (that's saying a lot), but I was also ecstatic. When I commit suicide after this, I won't have to die a murder. Yes I'm still committing suicide, I may not kill another human, but I'd rather die than live in a world where this happens on a regular basis, where living is hell, not any of that bullshit about the devil with a pointy pitchfork and fire or even a plane of nothing where a god makes fucked up deals. Life is worse than hell. Living is, by design, worse than dying. I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door and into the common hallway. Mrs Jefferson walked by, greeting me on the way home, "hello," responded. I jogged to the elevator and pushed down, then L once inside. Sitting in my 2009 honda accord, I pulled out the ignition key and tried to fit it in, but the shakiness of my hand wouldn't allow it in the first try. On the third attempt, the key fit in and and the car hummed to life. I pulled out of the parking garage and out of the driveway. I drove along with not much excitement until I reached the street that it happened on. I drove down slowly, until I had passed where it happened, I must have took so long she was gone. I started to speed up with cautious optimism, until the little girl jumped out with a basketball, running across the street. My reflexes acted as fast as they could, but neurons can only transmit information do fast. I hit the brake but realized it was too late to stop, so I grabbed the steering wheel and yanked it to the right as fast as I could. The accord veered off to the left, narrowly missing the girl and continued until it hit the curb, went over it, and slammed into a tree. I jerked forward, experiencing just over 8 ½ Gs and passing out. I woke up 6 minutes later to an emt waking me up, an ambulance and a police car behind him. The 6 year old and what was most likely her mom were standing on the opposite sidewalk. "Ms. how much pain are you in?"
"Not that much at all actually. just a uh a slight headache which is, I guess good." We talked until he decided nothing was wrong, I talked to the cops for a while, then they drove me home while a tow truck came and got my car. They walked me up to my front door, turning the key, I entered and the officers closed the door behind them. I sat down on the same gray chair, and everything faded into nothing. then there was a light.