Bloody Smiles

chapter 3

(mary's pov first person)

I awoke to the loud smashing intro of the Ghost Busters song and scrambled to turn it off. I've been using that song as my alarm for a few months now and it's never failed to wake me up happy... Until now.
How can anyone have this bad a headache this early in the morning?

I roll over again hoping it will go away soon.

......15 minutes pass

I'm going to be late for school if I don't get up but I don't really care right now. I'm in a dip right now.
A dip is a temporary, usually not so long-lived depression that lasts from anywhere between 15 minutes and 2 days. It really sucks and it makes me not do anything at all.

I sigh. I think I should just stay home today. I try to recall memories of that guy with the white hoodie.
What a weird dude.. how did he know my name and why is he stalking me? Is he even real?  Am I going crazy?
Probably.

I think about how I act around Sarah.. It always seems like we're close and I think she feels that way, but when I think about it, I try to act close and I really want to care but it's hard to let down my walls and actually truly love her like she deserves is hard.. I try to act close to make her happy. I really do like her, but I can't really share anything about my dips with her.

It'll be fine..

I roll around to my other side.

Ugh. My hair is dirty, I have three pimples, I haven't taken a bath in 3 days and my legs are hairy. The usual.

Why does anyone put up with me?

I spend the next 10 minutes pondering life, when I hear a knock on my door.

'Mary? Are you awake?'

It's mum.

'Yeah, but I really don't feel too good.'

Mum comes in.

'You look terrible' she says. 'Maybe you should stay home today..'

'Thanks mum. I love you.'

'I love you too.'

She leaves.

I lay still for a while.

Is it weird if I kinda hope to see that white hoodie guy again? He seems.. interesting.

Other than the fact that he intentionally does super weird things just to scare me, like going into my room through the window in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping only to ominously whisper my name and say he'll be back. What the fuck is up with that? I chuckle.

'At Least it's not boring?..' I mumble to myself.

He seems like a great distraction from my family and friend and school who all want me to be something and none of them want the same thing.

What do I want from myself?

I shrug my shoulders and look at some memes and textposts on Instagram for a few hours secretly hoping to see more of that white hoodie guy.

____
Was this better or worse?? I tried something new I guess haha.
I'm kind of putting my own thoughts and feelings into it to make it seem less forced and maybe relatable??
Plz give me your honest opinion haha