Tonight at 9.
Five days. It had been five days before Dan had texted him. Phil hadn't known how to talk to Dan, and was too scared to just show up at his apartment, and now he had to. He needed to go and apologise, to stop kidding himself that he didn't like Dan as any more than a friend. Were they even friends in the first place? They weren't exactly close but Phil knew a lot about him. Technically Dan was his employer, his boss but there was no way in hell he was ever saying that to Dan's face; he'd tease the shit out of him. They were acquaintances? More than that. They had a mutual 'like'.
Phil hit the side of his head. He was just thinking about Dan now. Fuck. This like wasn't mutual, it was skyrocketing on Phil's side. He was getting too deep. He was sinking though blues and that was all he was clinging to. A brush and a tube of paint. He wasn't anything more without his artist.
He hit his head against the table and his colleague gave him a concerned look. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
*
Phil stood outside Dan's flat for about two minutes before he knocked. He couldn't stop thinking about how to act, how to make things better. Unfortunately he was also thinking about how not to keep getting closer to Dan. It seemed hopeless.
The door creaked open and Phil was met by raised eyebrows and a smirk. "Nice of you to drop by," Dan said lightly and Phil shifted uncomfortably. "Boxers today, hope it's not too cold, he said flatly. It almost sounded as if he didn't care at all. The Dan he had first met was back, defences and all. Phil hated knowing he was the cause of it.
He nodded wordlessly and as Dan walked over to the easel he shut the door behind him before he started to strip down to his boxers. This felt horrible. He didn't want to be here like this. He didn't want Dan to look like he hadn't slept and the apartment to look more covered in more smoke than usual. Dan was stubbing out a cigarette at the moment but lit a new one instantly. Phil frowned. Dan didn't move a muscle.
"On the sofa," Dan winked and Phil nodded again and shoved his glasses up his nose, almost opening his mouth to tell Dan he didn't have to act like this, but shut it, sitting down normally. "I'm doing your legs today, so cross them and hug them to your body," Dan told him, gesturing with his paintbrush before he started.
They were completely silent, and Dan was frowning as he worked. Phil had buried his face in his knees but was peering at Dan. This wasn't the look he had when he concentrated, but was sad, and hopeless. "Phil." He said softly and Phil looked up from the floor at him. "I need you to be yourself so I can paint you properly. This person you are right now, well, they're not even blue." Dan's words were dry, and he wet his lips after. They had been hard to say and Phil saw that, heard that, and thought about how to fix it. Then he had an idea.
"Is it okay if I move?" Phil asked abruptly and Dan looked nervous.
"Yeah," he said, glancing towards the front door, assuming that's where he thought Phil would be going. But Phil was looking at a different exit.
"You have a balcony right?" Phil said, letting his legs drop and walk over to the window which connected it, unlocking it and pushing it open. "Come with me," Phil said, flashing Dan a smile before slipping out. The cold gnawed at his skin and it was absolutely freezing but he could see across the city and it was so beautiful at night. The sky was such a deep purple and few dusty clouds were drifting above his head, the moon floating behind them every so often. No one could see him while he could see the world, hiding in the shadows. He'd have to come out here more.
"Phil you're going to freeze," Dan said, having followed and Phil just grinned at him as he stepped down beside him. "Now what?" he asked and Phil rolled his shoulders.
"Dan, I'm gonna scream. Cover your ears." He warned and Dan looked bewildered before Phil grabbed the brick wall and yelled. He closed his eyes and started to yell at the top of his lungs, letting the cold air paralyse his mouth but his eyes flickered open when he heard screaming from beside him. Dan was shouting too, and there was a grin on his face as he looked back at him.
Phil thought he might have fallen in love with that midnight smile.
Their screams died down into laughter and Dan quickly ducked back inside, but came out and threw a blanket over Phil. He was thankful Dan wanted to stay outside too. They stared out at the car lights flashing and the moon that was so small it barely gave off any light, and then Dan began to talk to him.
