Violently In Love (Nouis) ✔️

Chapter 25-

-Niall-

Its almost 12 a.m. and hes not home. I paced the bedroom, pulling my hair. That little shit thinks he can worry me like this. I grabbed my phone and called him. Just like earlier..no answer. I threw my phone to the floor and sat on the bed. I worry to much, I make it seem like a big deal when its not. I got up and walked downstairs. I didn't have enough time to sleep, I needed to wait for Louis to come home. Sounds like a bitch, but I can't sleep alone. Even though I slept alone for a while, meeting Louis changed that. I didn't feel right alone, feeling alone just made my anxiety even more higher than before and I hated that. I love Louis too much to let him go. I mean just by looking at him he was the broken one and I was just a maniac who held him against his will of freedom.

Of course he made me angry. Him just being himself made me pissed off. The things he does just flicks that spark and sets me off. I didn't mean to save him when he fell off the boardwalk. It was an instinc of some sort that just told me to do it and I did it. Now look what I got myself into. This wasn't suppose to happen. I wasn't suppose to fall in love with that idiot. I could feel myself change just by standing next to him. Like everything just froze in place and it was just me and him. There was always this fire that he set when we kissed. Something warm about him when I touched him. The way he wore his glasses when he read his hooks or just walked around with them. It was a sign of perfection.

But something told me he didn't believe in it. He was insecure. He thought he had flaws. He thinks hes not good enough. He believes hes not perfect at all. He's hiding something and it's pretty damn obvious. When he cries in his sleep at night and says it was nothing. Or when hes just blankly starring at a wall and says he's just thinking. And then his face when he looks at himself in the mirror and looks away as if he's disapointed in himself. Is he blind? He must be blind. Its like he set his mind to an image that isn't him, but wishes it was. But thats the thing. He has his mind set to this perfect, good looking guy that doesn't exsist and its killing him.

I just want to protect him. And keep him safe. Keep him warm at night whenever hes cold. Be there for him when hes hurt. Be that ray of sun light that makes him smile. Make sure he knows everyday that hes perfect and beautiful and to never change. I don't want him to change and thats what I'm scared of. What if he changes? What if he becomes something hes not? I wouldn't want that for him. Never. Because I don't want him to end up like me...