Soulless Demise

29 because at least she understands

my whole life
i have been alone.
never a friend to talk to,
entrust with my secrets,
to tell me they understand me
or that they even care.

few others have ever experienced this.
few others understand the painful
demoralising
pressure of complete isolation.
do you know how it feels
to know that no one loves you?
to know
that no one ever notices you?
whether at school, in the street,
even in your own home?

i do.

it is more than the mental feeling of loneliness.
it is a physical ache
weighing on my heart,
causing me to sink slowly into the ground,
deeper and deeper into hell.

then again ...
everyone needs someone.
even a basic entity.
just some way -
any way -
of overcoming the loneliness.

kids talk to their stuffed toys.
teens share their thoughts online.
some adults talk to themselves.
but me ... i talk to katrina.

she is mine.
my very own.
she never gets bored of me.
she never says bad things to me.
she never abandons me when i need her the most.

i am invisible to everyone else
it is only natural that the one who loves me is invisible, too.
katrina is unknown by all others.

then again ...
we don't need anyone else
as long as we can be together.
as long as we can
always trust one another.

screw humans.
i don't need real people when i have her.
because ...
at least she understands.