Unscramble and Let go

Learning to Stay

"I'm learning quickly, once you quit one thing, it gets easier and easier just to leave situations rather than deal with shit."

― Doug Cooper, Outside In

What really sucks about getting into something new with someone is it's so easy to become scared, or over think and then it just becomes easier to run then to leave. And sure you know thats not going to fully get rid of things but at least you don't have to face it at that very moment . you don't have to stop and try and sort through your thoughts. because lets be real that can be so much work and it could make everything worse. you stop to sort and so while you're sorting you land on one thing and then you just think too much about that and then another and another etc. etc.  And it just becomes worse.

Something else that also sucks ? Trying to explain to someone when you don't even understand it yourself. But you know its unfair not giving them an explanation and so you try to explain you try to give reason and it comes out all wrong and things get said that can hurt . Things get said that just can't be taken back. Things get said that you just don't mean but then again it's not like you really know exactly what you mean either. 

Sometimes though there are things that you Can focus on that you Do know are bothering you so you don't feel the need to run and you just want to talk because it feels so great to know what you're saying and so you explain and you make big statements about how talking things through is the best thing and how anything and everything can be worked out. Of course only when it works for you . 

But at the end of the day that's just unfair to you and to the other person or other people . So I don't know if running is really such a bad thing when all you're really trying to do is protect yourself ? 

I'd love to say it's to protect the other person/people but that would be lying . I wish that were the case. But sometimes people are more selfish than that , no matter how much we don't want to be. 

Sometimes it's just about protecting ourselves. 

And wishing you knew how to do it the right way.

And not by running.