Spoby Self Harm

Well, Now What?

"Toby."

Toby stirred in his sleep as he heard someone say his name. He opened his eyes with a groggy look on his face. Spencer knew that this was just because he hated to be woken up. She was the same way.

When she saw that he heard her, she quickly ducked behind the wall next to her, praying that he didn't see her.

"Spencer, get back out here."

She mentally kicked herself for walking out there when she did.

"Hey," she said pretending like nothing had happened. "How'd you sleep?"

"Spencer, stop playing dumb. We need to talk about this."

"Toby, I'm fine. There's nothing to talk about. I've got it all under control."
He looked into her eyes for a few minutes. "Yeah, tell that to all of the scars on your body," he finally spoke. "I can't believe I didn't notice what was going on before." He buried his head in his hands, and Spencer knew that he was beating himself up over this.

"Hey, come on. I lied to you. I told you they were from other things. This isn't your fault, Toby. It's one hundred percent mine, okay? I'm the stupid one here. I mean maybe A should have killed me. Everyone would be better off without me anyway." Toby looked up from his hands.

"Spencer, stop this, now! You know that without you, I would go insane. I would probably kill myself. I can not live without you. You're my world." Spencer knew that all of this was true, but she didn't care.

She got up and started walking away.

"Spence, where are you going?" She didn't answer. He got up from the couch and chased after her. He found the bathroom door locked. All he could hear from the outside was her dull sobs. "Spencer, don't bother. I took your razor."

"Yeah, okay, Toby. Haha you're funny. You took my razor. Sweetheart that's not my only blade. You have no way of getting in here and stopping me either, by the way."

Toby started panicking, and blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "If you cut, so do I."

Spencer froze. She realized that she had already make 3 cuts, but they weren't deep. "I.... I.... I don't..... I..... shit Toby please don't I didn't mean to!"

"Spencer, open the door."

"No. I'm bleeding."

"Come on, sweetheart, we'll get you all cleaned up."

He heard the door click, and he opened the door. She was facing away from him, so he grabbed her shoulders and turned her around. She kept her wrist tucked into her shirt, but the blood was leaking through, as she was wearing a white shirt. He lightly grasped her wrist and pulled it away from her shirt. He winced when he saw the bleeding cuts. He grabbed a rag out of the closet and wet it with lukewarm water. He gently dabbed it on the cuts and watched as Spencer winced. He got a wrap bandage out of the closet and wrapped her arm. He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the bedroom, where he gently laid her down on the bed.

"Sweetheart, tell me what else you've been doing to harm your body."

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Okay guys, I'm sorry I don't update this much. I'm currently in the middle of the 1st term in high school, so stress is a lot right now. I'm also trying to quit cutting, so it's a constant struggle to read things like this, but I'll pull through for you guys. Please comment and tell me how I can make this better!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Xoxo Kaitlin