1. Definitions

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by Spiderskelly

by Spiderskelly

(Hello everyone! This is my second fanfic, the first I'm sure many of you read. This version of AntVenom is going to be kind of depressing so TRIGGER WARNING. If you struggle with things that can be triggered (eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, ect), than PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Also, none of Ant's opinions are true. WE ALL

Ant's POV

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I knew I had issues. That much wasn't really in question. I was ugly, had a scarred face from brutal acne, I was just odd. Maybe that's why I hate myself so much. Maybe that's why cuts run down my arms. Maybe that's why I skip meals, praying to be anything but how I look now. Maybe that's why I want to die. Yes, I, the Antvenom that people loved, want to die. No one loves the freak.

My parents, growing up, were never the best. My dad was abusive, and my mother would scream at me, often blaming me for my father's irrational behaviour. I was bullied in school, and while I got good grades, teachers despised me. I never had many friends while I was in school. Hell, I didn't have any. I remember hiding in the bleachers, running from the jocks. If my fans knew, I'm sure they'd be surprised that the cocky and arrogant face I put on was just a lie. Truthfully, I have a lack of courage. If I had any, I would have killed myself a long time ago. I know how I would do it too. I'd take a razor, the same one I use to cut, and I'd slice my wrists open and die of blood loss. I deserve a painful death, not a quiet one.

My Skype began going off. I clicked 'Accept Call'.

"Hey Ant!", I heard someone shout.

"Um who's this?", I asked. My voice sounded weak.

"Oh, sorry, this is Jordan, or CaptainSparklez. Adam gave me your Skype after we filmed together. He said we would have fun, and that he told you...", Jordan trailed off.

"Adam most likely forgot. Um, I'm a little busy right now, but I'll get back to you.", I replied, intending to delete him the second the call ended. I really didn't want anyone else to record with me. I'm not allowed to have friends. Having friends would mean getting hurt.