New Identity

Chapter 1

“Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Story of my life. My mom asks me that question every time I do something wrong. She hates the fact that I’m so different from my older sister. “Your sister’s so organized, why can’t you?” or “Your sister’s so responsible, how about you follow her example?” or my favorite “Your sister is a straight A student, it wouldn’t kill you to at least try.” So right now I am trying to get through dinner. Mom is praising Fallon once again for her excellent day at school.

“Gemina, are you even listening to me?” a high pitched voice asked. I look up from my plate and come eye to eye with my mother.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat it?” I said quietly.

My mother shook her head in disappointment. “Your brother and sister are visiting for a week. Make sure you take everything you need to the guest room before Monday. So when Alyson and her husband show up, they can get settled into your room.”

A smile broke out on my face when she mentioned Alyson. She knew what I was going through. Alyson had to deal with being compared to our older brother Malik. I couldn’t wait for her to show up. Wait… “Why do I have to move out of my room? Why can’t they stay in the guest room?” I question.

“Because I said so,” she said as if it was the rule of the world. With that she turned back to Fallon and continued their conversation.

I looked at the head of the table, wishing Dad was home. He was on a business trip till the end of the week. When he was home, he would help cheer me up. I was a daddy’s girl; always have been, always will be. That’s one reason why mom and Fallon hate me so much. I get all of Dad’s attention when he’s home and once he’s out that door, I’m treated like shit. Dad doesn’t know about what they do. He’s asked me about it a thousand times but I just come up with a little fib. I don’t want him and Mom getting into a fight over me. That would just be another reason for Mom to add to her list.

“Gemina, do the dishes,” Mom said before she left the dining room.

I sighed and got up from my chair and started clearing the table. As I did the dishes, my thoughts wondered to what my life would be like if things were different. I always wished that one day my mom would talk to me like she does with Fallon. I wished that the kids at school would at least talk to me or acknowledge that I exist. But after seventeen years of wishing, I decided that it’s never going to happen. It’s just a mediocre dream.

I’ve thought of cutting my wrists, overdosing, or hanging myself, but I couldn’t let someone find me like that. No matter who it is, no one deserves to find anyone dead. I wouldn’t want to see myself dead. 

After the dishes were finished, I went upstairs to finish my homework. You see, I’m not a delinquent. I don’t skip classes or start fights. I do my work and hope that I pass. I can’t say that I have never been in a fight, but I can say that I have not started one. Everyone at school ignores me because ‘I’m not as good as my sister.’ To be honest, I have no idea why everyone ignores me. I think it’s because of my sister. Everything else is, why not add another to the list? I have never done anything to them. I mind my own business but if someone brings me into it than that’s another story.

The only person that talks to me at school is my best friend, Andrew. I can talk to him about anything. He doesn’t understand what I’m going through but that doesn’t matter. All he has to do is look into my eyes. Andrew always tells me that my grey eyes are an open book. I can only take his word for it since I can’t see my eyes.

As I finished the last of my homework, I look at my clock and notice that I have a few minutes before Andrew calls me. Ever since we became friends two years ago, it became a routine to call each other at 10:30. So I quickly pulled my charcoal black hair up in a lose ponytail and pulled on a WWE Undertaker shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts. I glance at my clock again and watch it turn from 10:29 to 10:30. My phone starts blaring “Countdown” by Beyoncé. Right on time.