Strength and Mercy

My Every Groan

Before Ava reached the bottom of her steps she could smell the fried chicken and cabbage coming from her house. As she took a whiff a smile slowly spread across her face as she jetted up the stairs to her open porch. She fumbled for her keys and was so excited she couldn't get it into the lock. The moment she got in, she kicked off her heels and ran into the humble-looking kitchen with arms opened wide. The elder turned to her and embraced Ava warmly.

"I'm so happy to see you, Mother Henson," Ava exclaimed. "And I see you're making use of that extra key I gave you." 

The older woman laughed, "Child, we ain't in church! Call me the way you feel comfortable. And I have to make use of that dang key since you don't know how to pick up the phone."

Ava sighed, "Mama Jane, you know things have been busy lately with the church and the shelter. I have my hands full!"

The elder waved her off and proceeded to the kitchen to gather some of the left over dishes in the sink. Ava followed behind her and pouted.

"Are you really upset with me?"

A chuckle escaped Henson as she turned towards Ava and placed her face between her hands.

"No, I ain't mad. You're a good girl and I know you're busy but it would be nice to hear from you from time to time outside of church."

Ava giggled, "But you come to my house every other week."

"Notice, I come to your house but you don't go to mine unless I have something going on," the woman fussed.

Ava placed her hands in the air, "I will call and visit more often if it means I won't get in trouble." 

Ava excused herself and ran up to her modest bedroom to change out of her office attire. She decided to put on some red tights with a baggy graphic t-shirt and her pink fuzzy socks. She took her hair out of her ponytail and it tumbled past her shoulders. She glanced at the mirror on her dresser and determined she looked relaxed but still appropriate for company. She rushed down the stairs to the kitchen to help Mother Henson out. Though the kitchen was a bit tight in regards to space it was more than enough room for two people to maneuver in. The sink faced a window which Mother Henson decorated with small plants and ivory, floral curtains. The counter was long enough for the women to do their respective tasks without constantly bumping into each other. Finally, the food was ready and the ladies laid everything out on the dining room table. Ava's mouth watered and her stomach churned as the scents of cornbread, chicken, cabbage and rice met her nose. Ava piled food on her plate and her eyes sparkled with delight .

"It's funny," Jane started. "Your father would get that look in his eye when he saw what I cooked too." 

Ava stopped in mid-motion and she felt herself getting cold. It's been awhile since she talked about her father. To be frank, she didn't like talking about him at all. She suddenly snapped back into the present and became solemn.

"Honey, please don't shut down on me," Mother Henson said grabbing Ava's hands.

Ava turned her face away as the tears came streaming down. Everytime she talked about him to anyone that little girl would creep out and expose herself. Ava sat in the chair and held Mother Henson tightly as though she was afraid that she would disappear. Mother Henson stroked Ava's hair as the sobs poured out.

"Aww baby, I thought that nice doctor was helping..."

Ava sat up and wiped her tears, "Dr. Chesney is helping me cope but when I talk about him it feels like the day we were in the church basement. No matter how many books I read or how many groups I partake in, these feelings won't go away. I know it was a long time ago but I can't..."