Silent Moments (A Collection of Short Stories)

Two.

A normal Friday night.

...it's 2 a.m. and it's quiet. It's peaceful. I don't remember ever being this much at peace. It's usually so loud during this time. They're usually screaming, pounding, and saying such mean things. Making me want to rip my hair out if it goes on any second longer...

...it's 2:20 a.m. and I can feel it coming. Wow, I got my hopes up for a second. They start small, making little remarks. They're meaningless. I know that. I was told that multiple times. But, that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. Although, it's something I could handle. I know it's going to get worse. It always gets worse...

...it's 2:34 a.m. and it's getting worse. It's not fully there but, it's hurting more. I need help before it starts. They are slowly attacking my mind. They tease and sneak up me. They shoot down the mountains in my mind. Everything is breaking, so slowly. I try to text my friends. They don't reply. People say they'll always be there for you but they're not there at 2 a.m. when the world is collapsing all around you and your thoughts are beginning to scream...

...It's 2:45 a.m. and i'm realizing that the darkness can be such a lonely place on your own. The wall is my new favorite place to stare at when this happens. Scenarios play out on it like it's some television screen. They are yelling at me. Pointing out my flaws. Everything I have done wrong. Everything is my fault, they tell me. I'm the one to blame. It's all my fault. It's because of me. I'm a mistake. I'm such a failure. No one wants you. No one will love you. You will be alone forever. I scream and scream. I beg them to stop with tears pouring down my face. I curl myself into a ball and clutch my ears, feeling the pain building in my chest. My heart is pounding and it hurts. God, it hurts so bad. I can't breathe. I try so hard but it feels like my throat is closing in and all the air in my lungs is diminishing. And like the flip of a switch it's silent...

...it's 3 a.m. and it's quiet. Tears are still pouring down my face. My lungs are slowly starting to refill with air. The pain is going away. I feel like I'm vibrating and I'm cold. I wipe my nose and sniffle. I turn to my side and snuggle into my duvet. How interesting is it? One second you are on the brink of insanity and the next you're back to normal. How interesting it is that your biggest enemy is yourself? How interesting it is that the silence can be the most deafening? How damaging it is that you are alone in the dark dying one night and the next day you're forced to have a smile on your face...