The Ground Below

Chapter Three

Mom and Dad reside in the front of the car. Even though I’m five, I still have to sit in a booster seat. Why can’t I be taller, like my bubby? Mom laughs at something dad said. She has the best laugh, soft and full of joy.

Dad smiles over at her sweetly. I may not know much, but I know love when I see it. I’m still a bit foggy on what love is, but mommy tells me she loves me every night. Dad says that is a different love though. He loves mommy different than he does us.

I don’t understand how love can be different, but when I look at them smiling at each other, I think I understand now. I want to be just like them when I get older. We are on our way to pick up Chandler from his friends house. Mommy says soon that he’ll be driving me around. Chandler is too dumb to drive. I laugh at that.

Dad looks in the mirror, and smiles. Mommy gasp, but when dad looks back at the road, it’s too late.

The restaurant had a certain calming quality. I couldn’t put my finger on what that quality was, but I suppose anything would feel calm to me after riding in the one thing I fear the most. Somehow, when I get in a car, I revert back to being five. My mind manages to list all the people I lost.

Why can’t I be happy? Wiping a silent tear from my cheek so my family won’t notice, I vow to make myself happy. I’m about to call Amy and Dallas right now, but I decide it can wait.

My brother laughs at something Abby said, and smiles sweetly at her. They remind me of my parents.

You still have family, I tell myself. But, I’m leaving them. This happy thing is a lot harder than I thought.

I watched Abby feed Aiden mash potatoes. This restaurant screams pure elegance and my sister-in-law is across the table using her fork as a choo-choo train so Aiden will eat. The love radiates off everyone at this table. Sudden panic squeezes my gut. I can’t leave them.

“Parker, what’s wrong?” Chandler sits down his glass of wine and stares at me with concern.

“I was contemplating South Carolina, but I can’t leave you guys.” I smile weakly, “How about I move back to Edgewater?”

Chandler frowns, “I’m not telling you what to do with your life, but if you want this job, take it. I’d love to have you in Edgewater, but you need to do something for yourself. We love you, and we’ll miss you if you take the job, but you can’t pass up an opportunity because of us. Understand?”

He’s right so I nod.

“Now can you at least smile once tonight? A real one?”

I smile wide, but it’s fake. Chandler laughs, which causes a real smile to be plastered across my face. “I love you, guys.”

“We love you too, baby girl.”