It's Called Sarcasm [1] ⌲ Twombly

03 | shut it, yale

Somehow Stuart and I end up sitting side by side in the workplace seminar, a green paddle and a red paddle in each of our laps. I look over at Stuart, who looks annoyed to say the least.

"What's up with you? Like blue and purple better?" I tease, and he rolls his eyes at me.

"If anyone told me just how stupid this was gonna be I would have made a bee line for the dorms instead." He mumbles. I roll my eyes.

"Oh, come on, you spoilsport, he hasn't even started yet. Who knows? Maybe it'll be fun." I grin, nudging him gently with my elbow.

"Yeah, whatever." He mutters, giving a quick adjust to the blue beanie on his head before looking back down at his phone.

"Hey, Mack!" I look up and see Billy and Nick waving at me, and I smile and wave back.

"Hey, guys. Hey, why don't you come sit in front of us?" I offer, pointing to the two empty chairs in front of Stuart and I. Stuart gives me a look that can only read What-did-I-ever-do-to-you and I jab him in the ribs with my elbow.

"Thanks, Macaroni!" Nick says, ruffling my hair as he and Billy both take a seat in front of us.

"Macaroni?" Stuart questions, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I have no idea, just shut up and be nice. We need some good people on our team and these guys have experience." I say.

"That dude just called you macaroni, what experience?" Stuart says, and I give another swift jab to his ribs.

"Shut up and pay attention." I mutter.

"Okay, so, as you all can most likely tell, Google is not the most conventional work place. Having said that, we have rules." Chetty begins. "I am going to ask you a series of questions, and you will hold up the green paddle for yes, and the red for no."

"Remember when you said that this would be fun? Yeah, sorry, I don't team with liars." Stuart jokes into my ear, and my elbow meets his ribs once again. "Ow- can you not do that?!" He whispers fiercely.

"Can you shut up?" I retort, and he mumbles something under his breath before leaning back into his chair.

"Mack, you never said anything about your little boyfriend." Billy grins back at me. My eyes widen and I shake my head.

"What? Oh no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just friends." I say with a shake of my head.

"That's debatable." Stuart says and I look at him.

"You wanna go, hat hair?" I say and he just laughs, rolling his eyes.

"I'm kidding, Adams." He says, poking my sides which makes me wiggle in my seat a bit. Billy snorts and shakes his head.

"My mistake." he says before mouthing Go for it  at me as he turns back around. I'm positive my face is about as red as a tomato as Chetty says to begin.

"Having a beer with your boss." All the hands in the room fly up with red paddles...except for Nick and Billy. Chetty raises his eyebrows.

"Some of you are under 21," Chetty begins.

"Well, some of us aren't under 21, so if you want to grab a cold one, I'd be happy to do that." Billy says.

"I can't tell if he's polite or stupid." I giggle into Stuart's ear. He smiles lazily at me.

"He just said "cold one" to our boss, he is so stupid." He jokes, and I laugh softly.

"I will not be grabbing a cold one with you." Chetty says. Billy nods.

"You get high?" He asks, and I have to clamp both hands over my mouth to keep from laughing.

"I don't get high." Chetty answers, shaking his head.

"Hey, I'm not judging." Billy says, leaning back in his seat. He looks back at us. "That being said if you want something cold to drink, we'll hook you up." He says, and I raise my eyebrows.

"Thanks, but I think I'll stick with coffee." I say, and he gives me an okay sign before turning back around.

"Coffeeholic?" Stuart asks and I shrug.

"Depends on the day." I say before turning my attention back to Chetty.

"Dating a fellow intern." He says, and of course, Nick and Billy hold up their green paddles. I look around, debating myself before taking a deep breath and taking my green paddle into the air. Stuart looks at me like I just spoke Chinese and is about to speak when Chetty cuts him off.

"You, in the back there." He says and I perk up, my arm feeling numb as I shoot it down. "Yes, you. Miss Adams is it?" I nod slowly, trying not to panic. "Care to explain your answer?" Billy and Nick turn to look at me along with Stuart and I gulp, bringing myself to my feet.

"Well, see, being a Physics major I can honestly say that feeling emotion, or love if you will, is an only relatively conscious experience. In other words, you can't really control it. Therefore, if someone falls in love with someone else, in this case, an intern to an intern, it's only human that they have some sort of romantic relationship...sir." I finish nervously, willing my legs not to give out from under me.

"You make an excellent point Miss Adams. I must say I admire you for using scientific terms." Chetty says. "Unfortunately, this is Google. Not match.com. Please, sit." Chetty says, and I don't hesitate to fall back into my seat, huffing out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"What about a full time employee?" Nick blurts out, and I sigh in relief that he does so the attention is taken off of me.

"You made a good point," Stuart murmurs, and I look at him, raising my eyebrows. "I'm serious. Not too shabby for someone at Stanford." He jokes and I roll my eyes, smiling a bit.

"Shut it, Yale."