You're The Fire To My Ice

Chapter 1: I'm Always Gonna Be His Honey

Sweat drips nervously cold droplets down my blushed cheeks, as I lay feverishly in my soaked disheveled bed. The thoughts are back again, flooding my problematic mind with more, and more problems. Slowly drowning me in my own sorrows. But how can I possibly sink more, if I've already hit rock bottom in my mangled heart? I often find myself in times like these daydreaming, dreaming of anyone or anything that could be my cherished anchor, and keep me afloat. Even if I was back to the surface for only a second I would truly be grateful, because I could at least catch my breath. I know the breath wouldn't last forever, but it would keep me going for awhile longer. And I'd die for awhile longer, because honestly I don't see myself being here for very long. I'm useless, and my very spirit for livelihood is cracked. Just like a broken record. That's basically what I am, a broken record. Well at least my mind is anyway. It repeats everything over and, over again, never stops, and never will. 

My mind is drifting off again, I can just feel it in my frail bones that could as easily snap at a soft whisper. I know I have to be asleep, because I've caught myself wandering, well at least my eyes in closed in my closed paper thin eye lids. He starts in walking so coolly, and casual, but as comes nearer towards the bed he stumbles on my favorite dolly Lucille. He quickly proceeds, and bends over gradually to pick her up, and lay her ever so gently on the carved wooden shelf next to the doll house my daddy made me for my birthday the year before. "You know I still remember the day I went with your aunt to birthday shop for you. I saw that cute little doll on the shelf and thought of you. I just knew you'd love it, and that cute little princess face of your's would light up when you unwrapped it." He slurs, tipsy looking. I stare blankly at him remembering that joyous day. He shuffles over to the bed and slouches roughly shaking the cushioned mattress. He sets there as if gathering his thoughts, but just stares cloudy at the newly painted tulip colored wall. I can see his face twitching coyly at his fresh thoughts. After sharing a blank silent moment, he finally cocks his head to my direction, and begins looking into my emerald eyes. I look back into his, and see nothing but darkness, just a pitch black, empty nothingness. He slowly opens his trembling lips. "I've always wanted a princess... a princess just like you." He says slyly with a held back smile. I look down away from him at my wobbly legs not knowing what to say or feel towards the coldness. Then noticing his rough hands gently stroking my baby soft thighs. Slowly, slowly reaching up inside my little polka dotted sunshine night gown. I tensed up, and felt a jolting shiver up my narrow spine as he continued to rub my legs, then farther, and farther until he reached my 'no, no area.' He stopped for an ever slightly chilling second, then began moving closer, and closer to me. Leaning in, and softly pushing me down with him against the crinkled cotton pillows. I gasped shakily frighted at what he was doing to me. His eyes widened at the sound, and hurriedly cupped my shivering mouth. Then finally opened up his dry lips to whisper another dreadful whisper. "Hush honey don't make a sound." As he began to remove his black leather belt, he moved roughly on top of my petite body, collapsing his recently licked lips onto my freckled neck. I can smell the boozy air hanging on his bitter breath. A single innocent tear streams down my rosy cheek as I lay there looking up at the sparkly gold stars on the ceiling in the utmost pain. 

I open my fluttering eyes, and feel my eyes swelling up with held back salty tears. Realizing it was just another dream, another dream of an unfortunate memory. I quickly set up, holding my body close to me trying to gather all the warmth I'm capable of feeling. It's not much, but it's better than being frozen.