A note to my dad

-this isn't really a poem but a way to express what I have been feeling lately-

I sit here at night thinking of you how I ignored u how I swore I hated u how many times I didn't make time to say I love you dad.

Everything you have gave me is hidden away all except one a pocket knife and a light attached together I told u about how I got creeped out on my midnight runs and u gave me this as a form of protection.

I miss you I would give my life just to have u alive again. I remember one night we were talking and I brought up how low the Ste Anne bridges were and if someone would survive a jump off it. You told me what you thought and you didn't like me talking like that. Dad I no you don't like it but if you would have known what was going through my mind not long ago you would have brought me somewhere to get help

Now I wonder what your doing and cry till I sleep I have no control over myself and a lot of times want to give up on life. I try to stay strong cause I was still am your sweetie. Tonight I freaked out cause I couldn't find you on my Facebook friend list, sometimes it feels like that's our last connection even though you won't respond. I re read everything. I stay strong for everyone the best I can but I don't no if I can keep on I look thru old videos to hear your voice I forget what it sounds like till I hear it.

I can't help but cry and hurt and keep doing what I'm doing. I no I need help but idk what to do.... I miss you dad love you .