gasoline

000

I saw my mum and dad at the front desk. They were filling some papers. I honestly had no idea what they were doing, or why we're here. I wasn't confused, I was lost. I felt very calm, as if I were sleeping. I looked up, and they were both in front of me. They looked... sad. Why? I don't know.

"We love you." Mom said. "Don't forget that."

They hugged me. I didn't move. I
I was starting to feel really confused now. What's going on?

"Okay,we're going now." Dad said and I sighed in relief. Finally getting out of here. What even is this?

They turned away and I followed them to the doors. I was still quiet.

"Oh, no, not you sweetie. Only dad and I are going away." Mom said to me. "I'm sorry."

What?

And then they left me there. They went through those doors and didn't look back. The door closed behind them. I stood there calmly for a few seconds not moving at all. But then I started breathing fast. I was panicking. My eyes were burning. There was a lump in my throat. Why am I crying?

A nurse came rushing to me. She had dark skin, hair and eyes. She looked very kind. Although I didn't realize any of that at the time. I couldn't even breathe. My vision was blurry.

"I want to go home! No! Let me go!" I screamed with tears running down my face as the nurse held me.

"Brooklyn, please calm down. It's going to be okay." She tried to calm me down. "You're going to be okay here." She spoke with a calm and kind voice.

"No! This place is only going to make me even more mad than I already am." I tried to push away from her and escape from the madhouse that this is. I was back. I was very aware of what was going on right now, and I didn't like it one bit.

"No, it's not." She assured me. "I promise."

"Do you even know why I'm here?" I ask her. "With all the shit that's happening inside my brain, I also have bad trust issues. So if you think that I'll actually believe you when you say that, you're wrong." I say with bloodshot eyes and tears still running down my face. "I don't trust you."

I never tell people about my feelings, or thoughts. I could be in so much pain, mental or physical, and I wouldn't tell a soul. I don't like opening up to people, about anything. I don't know why, I guess it's just my nature.

She looked at me with pity. I calmed down a bit.

"Let's get you to your room,okay?" She  said.

I waited for a few seconds before quietly nodding and following her.

-

And that's how that started. My parents would visit me often. I met some really nice people here. It's not as bad as it might seem. I have decided to make everyone believe I was fine and I was getting better so I'd get out as soon as I can. And it kind of worked, after two and a half months my therapist told me he thinks I am ready to go home.

"We are going to keep you here for another two weeks just to make sure, you know." He said. "I think this is a good time for you to leave since school starts in what, three weeks? If you don't want to, you don't have to go. But I think it would be good for you to like, socialize, you know?"

"I understand." I said nodding to him. "I'll go."

"Great! Just remember to come at least once a week to therapy and if you need to talk about anything at any time, just call me,okay?" I nodded again. "Which grade are you going into?"

"I'm going to go into the junior year of high school."

"Well yeah of course since you're sixteen and a half, right? What a stupid question I asked, sorry." He said and we both smile. Then I was dismissed and went to my room.

-