7-21-16
Laura
Ross
"Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I broke our coffee table🤔"
"Is this on a scale of 1-10?"
"Hypothetically, yes..."
"Well, hypothetically speaking of course, I'd freeze your phone and throw it out the window ❄️📱🖼(A/N;where tf is the window emoji? Smh we can't have a real gun or a window but these ones are apparently relevant asf 💾🖱📠⛓🛋🖼🕳📇📏💱📯), chop off🔪🔪 your balls, turn them into bells🔔🔔, throw them in a liter of kitten🐱🦁🐯, watch as they gnaw and chew and bite with their sharp teeth and scratch with their sharp claws😸, burn the remains🔥🔥🔥, sweep them up and ship it off 📦to glass maker, get a vase made and shatter it right on your grave. So I guess on a scale that would be a high 10. Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering, on an unrelated note...where'd you buy the coffee table? My friend loves it😄."
"Oh, um I think Rooms to Go."
"Thanks welp I gtg love you baby girl.😘❤️"
"Love you too rock star😘"
"Oh and babe"
"Sup"
"If I don't have a new coffee table by the time I get home in an hour, there will be no more hypotheticals. Just facts. Pure, painful, facts.🤗"
"Yes ma'am🙃"
"Good boy👌🏻"
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Short Story"Excuse me can I get extra chocolate syrup on my sundae?" "What do you mean extra you should be asking for extra ice cream with your syrup." "Just put some more darn syrup on it jack ass." "What was the point of sugar coating the word Damn and then...
