She's only 19 and I'm 23. The same as my little sister's age. The first time I met her I already fell in love with her. She was the cutest girl in the room and her 4'9 height makes her more cute. So naging kami, no need tell you how. At first, I enjoyed being with her. She's a jolly person, a lil bit childish, always wants to have fun, like a typical teenage girl. But the time passed by.
Her immaturity is pissing me off. She's always jealous kahit sa mga taong hindi naman dapat pagselosan like my co-workers, my friends and even with strangers. She's a huge paranoid, nag-iimagine siya ng sarili niyang ikakagalit and also one more thing that I hate the most about her is her being a needy/clingy, gusto niya monitored lahat ng galaw ko, gusto niya palagi ko siyang kausap. Sobrang inconsiderate to think na may trabaho ako. Kung kelan niya gustong mang-away, mang-aaway siya. Kung kelan gusto niyang puntahan ko siya, kailangan puntahan ko siya kundi aawayin niya ako. Kapag stressed ako sa work, nagkakainitan talaga kami. I admit, nasasaktan ko siya but not physically.
Then a day came when I started asking myself. Is this still worth fighting for? Baka nga hindi talaga kami magkakaintindihan kasi yung age gap namin hindi compatible. Baka mas magandang maghiwalay nalang kami kesa ganito. Baka mas magandang maghanap nalang kami ng ka-age namin so things would get better. So there we decided to break-up.
But weeks being without her feeling ko mamatay na ako. I can't work, I can't concentrate, I can't focus, damn it! I can't really live without that little immature girl in my life. Days without her make me realized things. And those are:
She's jealous because I don't make her feel that there's nothing to be jealous about. I was always busy. I did not make her my priority. I forgot to give her time and love that she deserves. I forgot to be man enough to understand where is she coming from. Bakit kailangan niya akong i-monitor kung hindi ako nagkulang sa pagiinform sa kaniya kung nasaan at anong ginagawa ko? Bakit kailangan niyang maging clingy kung hindi naman ako nagkulang sa pagpaparamdam sa kaniya na mahal ko siya. Wala akong time makipag-communicate para pagusapan ang mga problema. And I realized that it was really my fault. I realized that I'm taking her for granted. Dapat siya ang priority ko at hindi ang trabaho ko. I should give her time. I should understand her.
Niligawan ko siya para mahalin, hindi para saktan. Inapproach ko siya, niligawan, sinuyo, ginusto ko lahat 'to. I owe her for giving me the sweetest YES, I owe her for loving me.
Nakipag-ayos ako sa kaniya. Bumawi ako sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko. Tinama ko lahat ng mga pagkakamali ko. Now, we are open to each other. Communication is really the best solution. Now, we are happier than before.
Minsan kailangan talaga ng time para marealize ang worth ng isa't-isa. Para makapag-reflect sa mga pagkukulang, makapag-reflect sa mga maling nagawa.
Sometimes we thought also that the younger one is the one playing childish but somehow sometimes we also act like immature person too. It is not the question of who is wrong and who is right because we tend to be biased. Love is indeed sweeter the second time around. Age gap?! It's nothing ;)
