Idiot I Am

•| C H A P T E R 1 - I Don't Like Spiderman Anymore |•

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"Uh, Sasha? The spider from yesterday is still here." Alyssa announced, pointing her index finger to the ceiling where the eight legged monster lay. Sasha adverted her brown eyes from the screen of her TV, looking at the spot she pointed at.

"Oh." ,was all Sasha replied with, before turning her attention back to the game she was playing.

Seriously.

"Can you get a book or something and squish it?"

She looked up at Alyssa before answering in a 'matter-of-fact' tone. "I can't reach it."

The brunette, Alyssa, pushed her dark purple glasses up. "Well, get the stool and a book-" before she could even finish her sentence Sasha cut her off, laughing.

"I don't read. I'm not a bookworm like you. Pfft!"

"Sorry, I forgot," Alyssa stated, sarcasm clearly laced in her quiet voice. "Anerwho, can you get like a..shoe.. or something to squash it?"

With her signature sigh, Sasha got up and found a shoe.

"Where is-"

"Whoah whoah whoah...why do you have crocs?"

Alyssa stared wide eyed at the girl.

"Because I do...?" She replied, making it sound like more of a question.

Oh, Jesus, Mary, Joseph...no.
This is not okay.
Crocs are not allowed.

"Ugh, just kill it already."

"Okay, get the stool and I will!"

That's how we found ourselves in this position.

Sasha was on the edge of the bed, trying to reach the spider. Unfortunately our plan of getting the stool to climb up on, kill the spider, happily ever after... did not work. In fact Sasha almost fell down, ugly face first, to the floor. Just kidding.

She almost fell backwards.

Anerwho, back to the point. Sasha also couldn't reach it from the bed so, she started to lean forwards. NOPE. Still can't reach it. She went a bit further, only just able to catch herself from falling.

So, I'm here, holding her up while she kills a spider right above me...

HELL TO THE NO.

I hate this so much.

Number one,
Sasha is damn hard to hold up, she be eatin' the entire cupboard of sweets and cris- actually, that's an understatement. She eats the entire kitchen and more.

And two,
No way in the name of Travis Valkrum would I ever let myself under a spider. Doesn't matter if it's the tiniest thing ever, no way in the Nether.

But apparently, I am.

I, Alyssa Caytor, the nerdie faced bookworm, the weaboo queen - nicknames all curtisy of Wren - the one terrified of basically everything,
Is underneath a spider about to fall on me.

Because yes, I know she could just squish the spider with the shoe on the ceiling, but she isn't tall enough, and she would hit instead of squish anyway.

So may as well accept the fact that there is going to be a spider in my hair.

A frunkling spider!

What?
It's how I curse.

And I can't use the 'it's French' excuse because... wait, why am I thinking this? I'm pretty much talking to myself...Oh well! I do it a lot anyway.

But there is still a spider on our ceiling...

I don't like Spiderman anymore....

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Hello!
It is I! Or should I say, it's me?
Pfft. Who would say that! Anerwho, welcome to Idiot I Am. I know the chapter was quite short, only about 545 words, but it's still a chapter!
So I don't really know what to say but...also if you noticed the change of POV in the second half then....uh..........

Song of the day - We Don't Believe What's On TV
TØP

The first time my neice heard the song, she thought 'we'll make money selling your hair.' was super weird, so when it was quiet, I would sit next to her and take her hair and sing the lyrics cx.

Anerwho,
Tons of love and oreos!
-Abi